Thought of the day: What's love? Got to do, got to do with it?-not Fat Joe's, but Tina Turner's... (Saturday 30/12/06)

What's really love anyway? I watched a TV show, 'Pillow Talk', one of an episod that the invited celebrity for discussing about what are the opinions they could offer. Most of them, between men and women, would have not even one in common within 2 people. It's so individual and everyone has their particulars of it.

Same to me, i would've voice out differently, and they wouldn't agreed either, as they went through lots and lots of relationships, not to mention us, normal civilian has no limit in one kind of love.

Besides, we better start off this topic.


How love started in life? Have you ever think back how was it feel like back then? Like em, trying to flirt on a girl he ever dreamed of everyday and night, what may comes to him proposing her, how does it feel like? Anxious? Nervous to the maximum? Excited?

There are so many symptoms, which most of it has been acted on screen. I can't remember how it feels like cuz everytime i had the best from my girl, so i'm way over the league to find out the lower ones, don't argue at the way i'm not appreciate it, of course i am.

Indeed, it's necessary to try feel back how is it feel like and you could find out how pure it was. It's so innocent, dreaming all the way and fantasize a love story together with your dream girl. Ok, it's just somehow things would happened back then. I wouldn't deny myself never been through that way. It's nice to have that feeling, that's pure love.

When there's a reply from the dream girl, you would just anything that she wanted, or maybe she didn't, you had to do it just to impress her. As a matter of fact, it's natural for men to show their capability to women as a sign of being a real man. Any stupid ideas would come, in the end it really didn't matter at all. What a girl wants from a guy, is the honesty and pure heart.

For now you wouldn't agreed that fast. There's more to find out.

It's also natural for guys to get jealous and mad at girls who wouldn't pick up calls in time, never get to locate and spend time with her, girls would've the same nature too. As it's goes a matter to argue a little thing, both wouldn't give up their pride to stand down. Well, along the way they go, the more stiffed issues becoming worst then. Break ups always happened then.

Or maybe some are not tolerant enough to deal each other's privacy. Everyone has the rights to protect their privacy, and much less to offer in love. Despise that, men could've other woman beside his family and the situation got even worst, which always happened when woman can't stop nagging of things over and over again, from morning till night. No kidding, it's not every rich men do, some average or poor also did the same. It's not even money, it's love that never despise men's depression. Maybe it's unfair to women out there, what's beneath the truth was men worked all his life to get things well at home, inclusively children's financial, house, cars, loans, investment, meeting people, pay utilities, family vacation... So much matters men contributed, and what men really needed is to have peace at home.

Men did understand of women's life at home. For now, i focusing on housewives. Every single day, women do house chores from morning till night, i've seen a few. My mom wasn't really a kind of relaxing person, she's a total workaholic maniac, she could just find anything to do until the night's calling. You'll be suprised to see my parent's house is a mess with all the things my mom kept. She stopped doing house chores that often, she went joining temple working freelance cleaner cum cook. Oddly knows, she couldn't help to stop doing such charity without any concerns of our own property.

It's a boring job being a housewife. Kids playing around and messed up things, dirty clothes needed to be cleaned up, floors went sticky after a few days of neglecting it, the meat had to defroze for dinner, do this and that, everyday, everytime were the same old shit. No wonder why the women went boredom at their carefree life. Of course, women wouldn't have to worried about their expenses. Money would've come so easily anytime, if they want. Also, it's not a housewife being employed, it's a self employed, not a business, but it's like you're lepaking in a house where you need to take care of it, so you wouldn't have to get troubled with the situation. People wanted to evolve, and in a house doing same thing doesn't provide further more experience. Career would've a different aspect, it's not everyone of us dare to work house chores for other people!

And when comes to this point, they went berserk at men wherever men came back from work, mostly after dinner, in room privately. Men could've been stressed from work, with a little soft at their hearts, they'll be melted as no heat upon the ice. Men only have a simple request to women, serve them well, that's all. Love them as they were loved by the night club girls, the ones they flirt around, make them more impressed and won't be late back home, excited to see what's going with the women.

Stressed can't be stopped, but prevention does the job. Well then women, understand how things worked if it's reversed? Men wouldn't be so greedy at girls. They wanted the same love as every guys wanted, as for you women out there to practise how to use your body language effectively...

As we men never proud to admit that we never did have any weakness. After all, we all buffs. We talked as no tomorrow but when it became a tomorrow, our darlings declare their hearts to their 'true heroes'... Yeah, i've been exaggerating much though, sorry. However, what's our weakness would be, our pride as much heavier than women, strong enough to carry as we never wanted to put it down.

That's right, it's a heavy burden for being a true men. We've lots to carry on and never leave anything behind, we've been stubborn all the time and we need to settle down for some time to think through... What we need to do to impress the women? Not presents or anything, it's words that came from men admitting his mistakes and plea for forgiveness. You maybe saw some on TV drama shows some couples in arguement could've this similar situation. Putting the pride aside, lay low on voice and tell her that you're sorry, you made a mistake, bla bla bla, add some sugar and spice, everything went nice! Make her cry, make her smile again. Make her happy all the time, as talking makes an important role for a relationship.

We need to talk.

Yup, not seriously with you. It's like a quote of every conversation taken in first place. With some talks, there maybe solutions and agreement we could make. It's also natural to have things admitted before it got worst without knowing it earlier. Discuss the matters in proper way, soft talks could work, like during bedtime, or in a coffee shop, dinner time and so on. Anywhere, as long as the talk done. Complete the whole mutual understanding from each other, and there's no way it'll go wrong, unless someone broke the rule.

With pride was put aside, we'll need tolerance. Of course, in some sort of arguement, nothing would stop if both parties having the same attitude. Both works both hands we have, we can't really wrestle our hands, even when we're so free enough to do so, or getting drunk to have such kind of odd activity, nothing really can do about it. That's what's a 'couple', 'both' and some other words could define a 2-persons-relationship, man and woman. If one party, like men could do the first move to impress women, after all it's a double blow. Be sad at face and hateful among ourselves, plea for the love's sake, and tell women how much we love them, any kind of words. A perfect combination, which not advisable to use it for escaping your mistakes! What i've reviewed here has more than i shouldn't.

As for my part of relationship with my girl now, it has been 4 years and still running ahead. She's never been tired of seeing me weak in progress. She knew what's good in me and morally i helped her a lot. I never despise her will to love me, and i know i should be doing something that make her even more happy. Everything in a mess after i've left my cousin's company. I knew i should stick back my previous job before i joined my cousin.

My girl really helped me by planning something which we could work together. I don't want to review much here as things on the way planning ahead. I'm worried that if it didn't work out, as not as i think i couldn't work things out. It's an Almighty's gift to me, a fine young lady could do so much to me, i could let go every pride i have and deal with a better life. I want it work, as for her wish to be an employer than an employee. Pride's nothing, it's not based on what i've to live on. It's money, with proper plans and discussions, further developement and assessment, then the money making machine runs till you fed up at the routine of it.

I wonder what has turn to her? Yes, i did mention of things she needs to understand of me, and the way i love her.

From the start of our relationship, we had been discussed of our own life's principles. She has her own, and i understand it very well and not to say she doesn't but, only sometimes she's being naive and wanna do something to impress me, what a lively girl. 'Both' of us have many favorites in common, and lots of things we could talk about, and what makes us turn into a long lasting 'couples'. Yes, i've used the words.

For now, all i could say is, even love is how you want it to be, there's need of tender to solve it. Arguement can't prevent, but could lessen for sure. Both stones can't break each other, but with an egg, the whole show ends a breaktime. Not for couples, but towards parents or anybody you love, it works and you'll become a loving person.

There's lots of theory besides mine but as far as i concern, it's really nothing personal upon this matter. I'm sharing it and getting feedbacks from you guys. Spread love.

Christmas Eve outings with my girl, Part 2... That's all we got for the Eve? (Sunday 24/12/06)

I woke up at 2pm. Looking at my girl watching a serial killer movie, i had to wake up and see what we'll do before the dinner time. She did asked for lunch after i've cleaned up myself, but i said it's best to let us hunger more as we're going for a complimentary Christmas Buffet at Lanson Place for both of us. Thanks to her manager, who stayed in Melaka and not able to attend this dinner, he let her go there with me instead.


I knew both of us very hunger and ate a lot for good filling, and we never been having dinner in hotels before. Yes, it's not like we can't afford, it's just that we don't really made plans for dinner in those places. Especially me, i do like having good food but not necessary in hotels or high class restaurants. I like those famous food stalls and cheap delicious food.


Somehow we go for this dinner and later we got no plans at all. My girl suggested to watch a movie, preferably ghost movies... Huh, i don't really like watching gruesome movies with deaths and body tearing apart. Yeah, i'm scared of those scenes... I do get nightmares watching those, maybe i really a timid person.


Before we decide, i said we should go and see what other movies we could watch. We dressed up earlier for the dinner, and went to buy movie tickets. We chosen 'The Curse of Golden Flower' at 12 midnight, just enough time for us to chill out after the dinner.

The time's still early, so we went for a browse at the shops. I found a cheap tamagochi which my girl's most favorite cute stuff that sold in Times Square's one of the shops that i don't remember then. I was in vain bringing her ups and downs just to find it. And what's more, we got tired and thirsty, so we just roughly reached a level and find a spot to have drinks.


My girl saw a stall selling waffles where lots of people ordered and packed up the tables. I was curious too, and it looks delicious and tempting. We ordered a set called 'Belgium Chocolate' and tried... Oh my Lord, the chocolate was warm and melted in mouth after crunching up with the waffle... Ooh, it's nice to taste again while writing this post... Only RM5.50 per set while the rest selections were vary in prices. It's like, you had one, you'll tempted for another one... This waffle stall created additive chocolate for those chocolate freaks, like both of us, got carried away of the taste. After that, we left to Lanson Place.


I roughly know where's the hotel was. It sounds like a high class place and it's very visible at the Jalan Ampang's main road, with Crawford's guidance, it's just next to Victoria Station. We parked the car further down from the hotel, at the Saiful International School. I never know there's a school here, and it doesn't seem to be a high class one too. The security guard at the main gate curiously looking at us walking from a distance. He knew we wouldn't want to pay the parking fees in the hotel. It really not worth it, even i knew it's our so called grand dinner for both of us, and i should be a man to have every comfort delivered to my darling. In fact, we're just as thrifty as our parents, for some walking distance really help the digestions after dinner.


The lounge was huge, tall all the way till opened view of the sky, the reception's quite a small booth, small swimming pool that only consist 10-15 persons to use, and the food lounge was just around the corner with some Christmas decorations, balloons and party packs. We were there too early, as we just having some relaxing time sitting at the small living room space with wooden cage design, it's really nice to have it at home too.


There were guests waiting there with us, i supposed they were like us waiting for the time. The dinner's ready at 7pm.


As we saw a couple went into the cafe, we followed them behind. The buffet booth filled with all kinds of decorations, all western food. Salads, macaroni, fried rice, oysters, hams, salmon, toasts, shrimps, squids, crabs, spaghetti... And for the desserts, cakes, cookies, ginger bread, muffins, longan drinks, crumble pie, fruits... My my, we had nothing much filled the whole day and this is what we'll gonna have all night... Mmm... Delicious...


What's interests me was the dessert table was isolated from the booth itself. Which it has some cute toy decorations on top and sides of the chocolate cakes. There are Snow Men, mouse in Christmas attire, house with chimney, trees, Ginger Bread Men and some decors that not so interesting. I feel like taking those, as though it's just something free to take with the food. My girl went to take a small Snow Man and i've taken a undecorated Christmas tree which made my girl laughed.


It's not special at all, just a tiny green brush with some correction pen's liquid stained on it, dang it! Then, i encouraged my girl again to take the mouse, at first i thought it was a teddy bear. After all, i wanted the big Snow Man, that i saw only the creamy chocolate cake. The small one was at another chocolate cake. And i guessed someone has taken the house and the Ginger Bread Men.


I roughly spent more than one and a half hour for the dinner, i ate slow, but my girl ate way too fast, she was full before i do. Slowly i enjoyed the food, and desserts too. About 8.30pm, we went back to Times Square and had a walk around the shops and bumped into a long time never seen friend, Elva. It's been long time me and cy never joined a friend who usually influenced us to go Poppy Garden. And usually we do, we'll be seeing her joining us together and have fun.


We had a drink at Starbucks near the cinema area. We talked, observed the crowds, their fashion, their hair style, their attitude, their friends or love, with family or alone, chatting or surfing, relaxing and eye contact with each other... Ok, i made that up. Only a couple surfed while the rests were playing brainiac games, chatting... A grandé Hot Chocolate with a sachet of brown sugar and some sprinkle of vanilla powder... Mmm... You could have the almost perfect chocolatey-vanilla flavored drink for the night with my darling, it's much much better to have a glass of Carlsberg draft with a girl i flirt in clubs... (just comparing, non relevant to reality)


Either way has it's own environment, but Christmas is all about peace and quiet, where the songs brings comfort listening, choirs on streets, from door to door, it's a call of peace to every living kind. We knew it's best to have a head shake for the party, after long term of hardship work and stress. Why bring another chaos for you to overcome the chaos before? By remedy contrary, some needed extreme dosage of entertainment while some needed a proper peace of mind. I'm kinda losing touch on clubbing, i seen every teenagers around these days have more daring on their sexuality exposures, unlikely to see some of them kissing in public, where in local, you're fucked up if get caught, especially it against the religion's teachings...


The movie starts around 12.30am, everyone's looking forward to watch the same movie like us. Today's sequence just like we're being followed, or we followed the rests?


After all, the movie wasn't that understandable, only the female characters have to wear corsets all the way from starting till end, i think it's somewhat a traditional formal dresses in Royal Palace. Everything made in expensive materials, the weapons and armors were made in gold, while every surface were laid with high quality carpets. Every interiors made in jade and colorful in rainbow fading mixtures. The whole movie was fascinated with all the riches materials, which really impressed me of Zhang Yi Mou's way of directing a movie, with such a big budget over 10 million USD.


She came and stayed overnight at my place. Her brother called her and asked if she's coming back home. He wanted to talk to her while he had the chance to come back without letting their parents knowledge. Even came along with a girl, and probably if the secret was known by their parents, he would have stayed few more days before he gets a true freedom. He came for a day as his college assignment only needed him to do projects, that took him few long months for it, and he found boredom to live with that, he just needed a break away.


She brought 2 balloons from the hotel, and intended to tie them on my pillows. I don't know why, she graced as she's really celebrating Christmas with me, for at least she could offer. It's our first candle light dinner at a festive season, in a high class place without any charges, plus having a good time with our common hobby, watching a movie at late night.


By the next day, i woke up late around 2pm. She wanted to go for lunch since afternoon, and i got myself so tired without a good sleep in these 2 days. She was worried of her parents, too. Maybe they need a lift once they've reached the LRT station in Asia Jaya. What's more, she told me she had to leave for dinner with her parents before she got the latest news from her parents. So it was to say, we had such a good time together and it's about time for us to apart. I really missed her, she got everything good for me, i don't know how or what to repay her. I wished the next year's resolutions would make it, as better as it could, and things would run smoothly.


After she left with her car, i went to my place's nearby shopping arcade for a browse. As i came out from the place, i took another route to go home. As i was passing by the shops, a particular shop used to be a gambling arcade centre had something different in appearance. There's no colorful neon lights at the entrance and the posters were all games.


I stood there about a minute, wondering what's in there. I hate gambling, and of course i wouldn't want to see gambling machines in there, it really irritates me. Suddenly, a man came in his 40's came out, and i spotted a clear view inside... It's really converted to cybercafe... And i was excited, because all the while i've been whining about the place i'm staying, it happenly to have someone daring to put investment in this field. I was also surprised to see the notice at the glass door written 'RM1.00 per hour', cheap... Huh, what's in there...


I doubt it has racing games, yet i wished it has Need For Speed titles, preferably Need For Speed Carbon. I went in, saw few PC's around the side, left empty tables behind the corner. The person in charge was a young man with a trashed hair style, playing a strategy game. I asked him to show me any games that has in every PC, and i found none NSF titles. Everyone's Dota... Sigh, i wished i knew how to play or get to feel the hype of it... I can't! I'm sort of annoyed with the game that has been haunted me everytime i go cybercafe, just like CounterStrike, which survived until now...


Well, since i'm in there, mind as well i should give a try outs of the games they have there. I spent an hour or two for the thrills, and went home, watched some movies and dozed off. That's all i do for now.

I found not much hype of the people in the city celebrating Christmas, maybe we're not as the pin pointed area to have some happening events. Anyway, Merry Christmas to yall and have a pleasant holiday!

Christmas Eve outings with my girl, Part 1... Long day and long night. (Saturday 23/12/06)

It was a Saturday afternoon, i was at the mall checking up some stuffs while waiting for my girl to come to my place. She went to her company's HQ to do some officials, by the time she came to my place, it's already 3pm after.

She said her parents went to Mentakab pay visits at her grandmom's house, so it'll be 2 nights the parents gonna stay over, and the house was left all by herself. She wanted to stay overnight at my place and for the sake of not letting her into trouble, i suggested that i should go her place instead.

Of course, we made plans after all. At first she came and thought that we would go someplace like a mall to have a walk. Precisely, i thought it's much better to go Carrefour and buy swimtrunk. But we didnt find any swimming gears sold there, that was so pity. Usually i think they possibly selling any stuffs that you'll never could imagine, cuz it's a huge supermarket, and it sell cheap stuffs. I knew my swimtrunk could be expensive, but who knows, if i don't go and check it out, it's a Sale Carnival for this month...

We went to Jaya Jusco, Taman Maluri. Everyone loves to be there, just like when it started and before it was expanded. I remembered the first time i'm there, i was so excited of the Kaya Balls and Toys Section. Even when i'm schooling, where all the various school kids met each other, friends or love. After it expanded, everything changed and the old flavor was totally faded, i don't really think the loyal customers would reminiscine the old days.

We spotted a few designs which never guessed its price could be so expensive. I thought my budget of getting a RM5-RM10 kind of swimtrunk just for non-occasionally swimming. I found a RM5 swimtrunk, not exactly nylon fabric, sort of like undies... I grabbed one and continued browsing, while a salesgirl realised that i'm holding a female swimtrunk... Huh, why it's only left bottom but where's the top. In fact, i didn't say anything at all, i just said thanks, and put it back, with full of embarrassment in me. Thus, we found 2 which cost RM30, the cheapest and preferably better looking type.

I even met back my old staff, which i worked in a clothing wholesale company. He's a Bangladesh, still in Malaysia and was healthy and peace. He came with his friends to buy some towels, as he told me while i'm looking at the undies... I mean, the swimtrunks. Sounds like i'm getting another embarrassment, huh? Never once, i just met him once in a while and it's not possible for me to see him again, as he always has to move on, from place to place for work.

I spent RM50 for the swimming goggles and swimtrunk. Sigh, i kept reminding myself it's expensive but again i reminding myself i just buying it one time for a long term usage. Besides, both are good quality made, i'm sure both durable to last.

After the shopping, we headed back to my place to grab some stuffs and straight to my girl's house. She packed her things and very excited to see me swim cuz it's our first time that only both of us going for a swim... Heh, it's nice to have her over excited of our every first time of things we never did. Ah, don't get spoiled with those filthy thoughts. I know what are you trying to deal with it, it's not what it seems. Ok, and further i checked through her PC, her movie downloads was fairly completed and checked a few things on the net before we set off.

She drove me there as i never knew where the place was. Once we reached, i knew it is such a good place to be during weekend. Exercises good for health, especially during working life, or with children, even elders. I'm not saying those elders can't enjoy any sports at all here, it consisted quite lots of things besides the extreme ones. They even stated age categorized price list before we went to the pool. We passed through the corridor with a gym room on our right. I was tempted to look at it and wondered if we could go for a try some other time, but once we reached its entrance, the door's notice stated 'Members Only'. How disappointed, i thought i could pay a low budget one and get pumped up.

Soon, we reached the pool and it's 50m length, about 8 lanes, and 7m-10m depth. It's been a long time ever since i go for a swim, by years. I think i was quite embarrassed of my body size that i earned a tummy during my work in clothing company. Yes, i've regained back a little of my past's body size, and i'm daring to wear only a swimtrunk at the pool.

Also, i never get to see girls in swimming suits for a long time, and i found a few came in couples... Well, i got everything set, my trunks on, and only if we could find a place to put our bags. My girl was at the seats, trying to put her swimming cap on. It's essential to be hygiene at all cost for the public. Yet, the color doesn't match with the suit, as she was whining about.

Actually we came for swimming and for sure we don't really need to pose off our designs or color matching. Maybe for her concern, she needs to be that way. She a girl and wanted to be pretty and attractive, my mistake. As for me, i had a matching color of my swimming gears, both dark blue in color, it's just a coincident, actually. I found this goggles that's cheaper than the rest which quality's considerable, only didn't realised it's a matching color with the trunks. Sorry darling, it's best to change the cap since it's not matching and loosen already.

The session lasted 3 hours starting at 6pm. We came almost 7pm and we couldn't last until 2 hours of swimming. I was fully exhausted as i hardly do such extreme muscle exercises. My girl was impressed of my swimming skills, before she knew, i was really a weak swimmer. I can't float at all, even until now. If ever i drown, i will completely fall deeply till the bottom surface. Yes, i've experienced it before during my primary school days in Pahang, somewhere there's a big waterfall with unknown depth. It's a scary experience, but i can't resist the beauty of nature, i'll go if i had the chance again next time.

I was tired, my head's a pressure of pain, i don't think i did a 360 turn in the pool could just pressed my head till it lasted the effect. It was my goggles, the bands seemed extended till its limit and i thought the tightness should be okay. One big mistake, i shattered the excitement of swimming this day... My girl was tired and hungry too, just about time we had enough of exercises...

While i changed and waited my girl ready to go, i was at the entrance of the pool checking out the notice board. They have happening swimming courses, snorkling courses, trips, clubs and even packages for swimming and... Gym... Hmmm... I wished i come next week to get more details of it so the next time we go there, we'll be using their Gym for some good pumping shit... Yeah.

We went Taipan to check out the place, where we don't usually go there. Why? It's a massive traffic conjestion there! It only happened during office hour, and it's not that really we wanted to be, just once in a while to check things out. We had a simple dinner and went browsing the shop around. She saw an optical shop decorated lively with salesgirls at the walkway smoking, and they approached us. I said we'll just take a look and see if we could find what we looking for, plus we had not much money as we only came out just to swim. They said it'll be fine and encouraged us to go in and shown us some designs to fit my girl.

Both salesgirls quite cuntet, the cutest was idle while her colleague helped my girl on eye check up. She spent a long time at the optical shop and i was bored, lucky to have the cutie left serving me on my glasses, just some alignment needs to be done. Soon, my girl made pre-order her new glasses. The price is about RM300, which the design is a lil similar to mine, and nicer than mine... And it's a reasonable price cuz it's a half frame glasses. She told me that last time she went with her brother to get a new pair of glasses which already the same cost of hers, so she wouldn't complaint the price.

We headed back to her place and she got all the washes done, while i do some minor configurations at her PC for better performances. The new Internet Explorer 7 was an impressive design, improved with tabs just like the old MSN toolbar's feature. What'll happened if there's 2 with tabs feature installed into same browser? I guessed i won't find out either. Also, the Download Manager, easy to use and very versatile to any sites with encrypted links for downloads.

It's about after midnight, i couldn't sleep at all. Maybe i was not been able to sleep at her place since she told me her brother was on his way to come back home, together with his new girl. Every nasty couples loved to have their parents away and left only the couples at home... Doing... Heh...

I went on checking up some sites, find new solutions in forums, new softwares, almost everything. Once i'm done, it's already 7am and i had to wake my girl up to wait for his brother's arrival. After her brother reached home, we left to my place and continue our sleeping time. As you can see, our pass time really simple and not exciting as those went clubbing and events. Maybe i'm getting mature and old, tired to have extreme activities...

To be continue...