When Hopes Shattered...

I think after a few posts in my blog you guys have read, i'm a total fucked up person and nobody's gonna put a trust on me. I can be sure if one day i'm getting the jackpot, don't ever try treating me back as a friend. I'm serious, no matter how fuck up i am, i'm still your friend, and always have trusts to friends. I can say i'm not the only one getting shits in life, i've friends also could be worst than me. No matter how fucked up i am, it never change my pursue to be a better person. And thanks to cy and Yulius who willing to look for me again.

This post is just a thought of the day, sure is negative but without a negative, there won't be a positive. I met few friends during my part time job, Richard, a QC surveyor on beers, we talked about Viagras. There are 3 types which defines erectile stages, and i seriously learned a lot from him. He did put some advices on the usage and offered samples of it. I don't really need it cuz i'm still healthy. We're not only talked about those, he had a Malay collegue doing the same task, we shared our thoughts and experience in life, jobs, people and stuffs. I don't make myself so available talking to them cuz i sensed the superiors watching me from far. I'm not sure if they knew i was highly paid, and partly because i'm afraid i don't get my job done smoothly, they might say something bad to my superiors.

This coming Chinese New Year is not a happy festive season to me. I got no money to spend like i used to, i guess i'll be experiencing myself hanging out in my room watching tv programmes and movies with junk food or beers, if i could afford. The most slacking Chinese New Year, a fucked up one. Years by years gone the celebration got even bored, not like the time i'm still studying, everyone's having fun. Now, some got married, some can't have fun like we used to. I can't even think of having fun now, i kept thinking how am i supposed to borrow RM5,000 from my dad to start out my pursue to make more money in the future. I talked to him once and i know it's not gonna work, and even i go further to convince him, i'm not gonna do that alone. I need someone to make sure he's at ease to borrow that money to me so i could really start out my journey. I've been wanting myself out of debts, more savings in the bank and don't have worry about my spendings everytime.

Making a RM1500 per month doesn't make me going to the top i wanted. I'm low educated, no diplomas or certificates, half experience on any jobs i've been worked. When it comes some advices to me, said "work hard for few years then you'll gain more increments..." Seriously, those who been telling me that, they've been sleeping all the while. Wake up, secured workers! I can't bare myself when i'm 30 years old, i'm still getting RM1500 or RM2000. Even if i go further more, the most i could get, the highest limit, estimated RM3000. How am i supposed to give my family a better future? I heard lots of advices like "earn decent wages, at least you'll feel secured in the future..." Wow, fucking prediction, come on, 2 years ago 30 eggs in a carton was sold not even RM5, now the cheapest i saw was RM8 above. My reply for that advice "it's easy for you to say..." Same thing to those who wanted to start out business, my girl's aunt who opened a pet shop, 3 months later she sold the shop to another owner. Another friend who opened a cybercafe, a year later he went broke and sold to another owner. Another friend who operates a handphone shop, a year later he almost went broke and still hardly surviving to secure his shop. Imagine i ask my dad for money to open a shop, any kind, which he has to come up RM25k to RM50k, or even RM100k, he might considered a good idea if i'm being a good boy all along. I knew my dad was rich all along and he's been slowing down my desires because he knew i'll fuck it up later. Who's father doesn't afraid his son can't do it? Well, asking RM5k already pain in the ass, that's all i need. Comparing to open a shop, if i can't make it a month to target my sales, months later the debts piled up and soon i'll be someone like my girl's aunt or my friends.

You see, business evolved in speed within a year, it became a trend to everyone who with a big budget or low budget. And came along MLM, which always a dispute to others who really don't understand how it works. The most people got involved in MLM was from Amway, and for sure it made most of the people hate it because it's hard to sustain and some given up easily just because you fucking need to sustain it. Also, they could play teamwork, i don't think so. The way i see it, it's about the person's problem. When this get a hand of believing it's true, try to spectate the market now. Last time, doing garment business is good. But now, my previous company fucked up so bad that i don't wanna involve that kind of business anymore. Everyone's drowning, i can tell.

And how about MLM people? Usually the people would say "if you started out earlier, you might get rich faster rather you started out later." What i've learned from Lampe Berger, it's never too late, if once you knew it's good and start it out instantly. Usually people thought MLM is direct selling, yes of course, for Amway. How about Lampe Berger? They're not selling any products, their products are so much expensive that you won't believe. Actually MLM is a business opportunity, when it comes to a business, you can't simply talk and have contracts from the clients, you must have products to support the business proposal. Further more, you don't have to sustain the sales or something, it always there, on increasing, no decreasing. Business proposal is not RM500 or RM1000, it has to be more so the business looks real and convincing. Joining Amway was like RM80, then from their products you've to sustain the PV points from the products. If you don't get clients to buy it, you've to buy it yourself, our else your status will drop and always you've to start over again. From that, you spend more in months or years coming, comparing to a RM2345 SYN business proposal. Think about it, am i saying wrong about MLM?

The whole MLM thing didn't come from Lampe Berger itself, SYN did. Lampe Berger only sell their products, SYN is a network system from Steven Yeam which proven producing millionaires yearly from the network. So basically Lampe Berger's products only supports the business proposal for the networks, it plays a part to make the effects of the business.

I'm kinda mixed up my explaination here, time after time i'm writing this when i'm on my work break time, snake time in the toilet, whatsoever... Forgive me.

I'm tired of going through the bads again, everytime i tried to make things right, it never came out a good one. Perhaps pressuring myself out of entertainment in a year time so i could really coop up things, at least even i made it a 50% extra, i'm grateful enough. I'm not saying i won't go for gigs or jamming, these are my dreams and i won't let that chance go away as my age and trend passed me by. Essentially and vital in my life, starting from the day i touched the drums, like the feeling of touching a pair of tits. I could say i had more climax on bashing drums, hard heavy loud music played by my hard stroke both hands, sweats and tiredness ran across my whole body, the sensation was never could be explained. I'm sure drummers out there do understand what i'm trying to say.

Last, all these was just thought of the day, combining days i've written this...

Oh boy, after i got this part time job, my hotmail got packed heavily spams and i'm striding away from my blog and GTA San Andreas... (my current mission is still cleaning up the hood after Sweet came out from prison, about 62%)

Not only a thought of the day, references.

Me, a part time 'Pepsi Promoter'

My girl always telling me she had luck on me almost everything i've confronted. Usually when we decided to go for window shopping, most of the time the weather was good, cloudy but no rain at all, and of course, we don't sweat, less sunshine though...

I've been offered a job from my cousin, and apparently i rejected her offer because i thought i might lose my commitment again. I know my bad too much that i don't want anymore feelings hurt. As long i'm comfortable finding my own proper job, but in that case, i'm still slacking, dived in too much thoughts and choices to make. That's pretty bullshit, and it's not really helping me till the end...

I met my dad the other day, talked some stuffs, and he wasn't pleased at the moment. He knew i'm slacking, somehow my 2nd uncle was there and poured cold water all over me. Well, tell me about relatives.. And so, i got a feeling so devastated i almost give up everything. Then finally i coop up my thoughts, turned rational and began to think as carefully what's my desires to do for my future. All the while i went to drinks with Seng quite frequent to get more sources of enlightment, chill down my negatives. I even attend meetings at Lampe Berger's 'canteen', met more new friends and they gave advises to me. You must be wondering why. First, they're all MLM people, and secondly, they've been through all the boundaries which i could say i've been, but they've more options to turn their directions to a better path. Some people who might have discrimination on this MLM may not pay attention as they thought it's just exaggerating of being high vision on things they're doing, also their boundaries are highly unlikely true so to speak of how they implement the scenarios. Not so emotional while they were talking about their difficulties, isn't it? Well, talk about break ups, i've been through, if i'm in a situation advising a guy who met a break up, with some strong points and calm mind, to him might not concern of what i'm trying to tell him. Hence, he would just go on devastating his life thinking all about questions from his break up. When he comes in sense, it would be months, or years. So, it's easy for me to say "chill out man, you could find another one" to that person. When the break up happened to me, i would say "it's easy for you to say, you just don't understand how i feel"... Get the point?

Now, back to the topic. I was about to make another appointment with my cousin to have lunch together. She seemed very tense and busy, but she never inform me any regards of it. Therefore, i called her at the evening and found out my grand aunt passed away. Funny thing, i asked my cousin, why didn't she tell me. She said it's not my concern. Why not? Why i even bother calling her 'grand aunt'? And she laughed a bit. I was trying to tell her about i want her job offer and it's gonna be postponed till next week.

After a day or two, not sure when, i initiately went to PJ without an early notice to my cousin, i thought i could have lunch with her, so early as i went out, perhaps i should pay my girl a visit. After i'm at my girl's house, i got to know my cousin still not available to meet me. Damn, i'm really gonna slack for another week again. So my girl asked me to find some jobs online, and then she showed me the website where you could find part time job, any job will do. I applied a few, then since the whole day became ours, she followed me to our love nest and chill out with some junk food and drinks. A call came, it was from a job i applied earlier from a company called Bizarre Marketing, about working as a promoter for Pepsi. I'm not so into that particular job until i heard the pay was fucking good. Damn, i overreacted at first and got myself embarrassed on the call, but then i was set to work starting 12th Jan until 27th Jan, from 1pm to 9pm. Anyhow, they insisted me to go for a briefing at their office in Bangsar before a day's work.

I have my own choices of station, either Giant Taman Connaught, Fajar Pandan Indah, Carrefour Sri Petaling, Jaya Jusco Taman Maluri or another place i don't remember. At first i chose Giant. Then when i thought of the distance, i called back and chose Fajar. It's not even 5km from my house, so even i drove there, parking also won't be a problem. Therefore, my girl said "See? I'm always bringing you luck..." Yes darling, you're always my lucky angel.

I went for the briefing at Bangsar, met 2 new friends. A girl Chien Nian from Wangsa Maju and a guy Michael from Sunway. Firstly i met Michael in the marketing office,currently studying his last semester of Biotech in Taylor's. What the hell is Biotech? Fucking technical shit he's into and i don't think he'll find himself comfortable looking for the job he's profession in. There's photoshoot also, the one who's in charge took 4 different angle photos of me. Then he guided us to the supplier's office, Permanis, distributor of Pepsi and other brands, to get us briefed of what we supposed to do during work. Only later on i knew Chien Nian, and during our time waiting for someone to brief us, we talked much about animation, and Bleach is an animation series with lots of volumes. It didn't take much time for the briefing, as soon as it finished, i went home straight, provided some working attire.

So the first day was quite ok, i managed to sell quite numbers of cartons. What i've experienced in Fajar, there's lots of leng mommy consuming goods. Some flirting scenes i saw, like one of it i saw was a lady with her son browsing at the can food section, her husband came and pinch her butt. Well, before that she did attracted me much cuz she had a gold chain around her waist, she wore tight T and tight shorts, quite alluring. What i'm trying to say was what she's wearing on her waist was particulary attractive, i'm sure ladies who read this might consider to get their own, yes i'm sure it's attractive, honestly.

I never worked in supermarket before, so when i started the first day, i piled up the drinks, arranging, refill slots... And most of the time i just stand, stand and stand. I was paid much salary that i need to be much more discipline than other workers. Speaking of that, i see Fajar workers are hardworking, only matters to me, some they don't really keep themselves out from exposing their smoking habits from the consumers. I mean, it's not a good impression for the consumers, and they way they talk, i don't think the customers find it manners and entertained, but so far no complaints. The worst i could say about was the girls worked as cashiers. When it's not on peak, they could really talk fucking loud, friends came and talked to them right at the counter, teasing, flirting and pinching butts. I can tell you, the scenario was terrible, almost had myself took initiative to slap them one by one... Just a thought, if i'm someone which i could do that, i'm glad to be one. Honestly, one time an Indian girl cashier in Cold Food section kept calling me 'Leng Chai' whenever i pass through her. After a few times, i got annoyed, asked her what she really need. She wanted some drink samples, insisted me bring some for her personally. Well, a flirt starts on an issue to another. She pretty, but in this case i'm not interested, i'm just need to work and not socializing with the workers. I'm here for 2 weeks or more, and i'm highly paid, discipline always comes first.

I did promote some new release drinks like 7up's H2OH, Lipton's new ice tea mango flavour and new Excel packaging and taste. Not all supporting Pepsi as the best cola reknowned in the world is Pepsi. Coca-cola was just too much advertising and most it used for mixtures on drinks and perhaps McDonald's promoted it too much, even kids like it. The difference between Pepsi and Coca-cola was the gas, and also the taste. Pepsi's taste was smooth, not much gas, and apparently less sugar comparing Coca-cola. Coca-cola's taste and gas were another way around. So please don't take this too much personally, different people different taste yeah...

Every customers waiting for the big bargain price for 100 Plus, there's a day Excel doing promotion, i tried hard enough to push this brand and most of the consumers said it sucks. How suck it was though? Actually both were almost the same, difference is branding, also compared with both, Excel's tastes mild, 100 Plus is fully condensed. In advantage, Excel enriched with vitamin C and new look on packaging. We do have samplers on the run but the consumers never appreciate buying a few cartons for the festive. It's much more cheaper price per carton rather 100 Plus. So for my experience for the few days, i met randomly consumers who willing to speak out their comments on 100 Plus cons and pros. Firstly, some consumers heard most of thei friends and relatives said it's good for health if taken one can per day, not to mention the doctors which they encouraged more on their patients. Secondly, few consumers had taken 100 Plus in a period and they suffered from vomitting sour fluid (eh, i don't know what's the scientific name for it) and Excel maybe the best choice to be taken daily. Some might think they should try it out cuz it's cheaper. Soon i heard they're gonna make a day promotion for 100 Plus, cheaper than any other supermarket's price. As i know, most consumers are crazy enough to purchase more and more for the healthy purposes. To me, i don't drink isotonic drinks, if i'm given free, i don't mind, but i won't ever buy isotonic drinks. I prefer herb drinks, at least i'm comfort to drink natural preservative drinks.

What worries me was my salary. When they'll transfer the payment? Well, 27th is on Friday, my last day and i hope Saturday was the day i could really get my salary as i need to pay off some expenses. I'm fucking broke before that, and i hope they could pay as they promised.