The SYN meeting at D.C.H.L. (15/2/06)

It's gonna be very tough for me today, as i've been waiting for 2 months, long enough that inside me, i'm almost burst to decide that i'm no longer will stand up again. Last time i went to meet my dad and we both had drinks together at Taman Segar. He still have the anger at me when i do things improper and made him disappointed. Therefore whatever i need to say to him is definately out of the questions.

Once and for all, i made up my mind, whether he like it or not, i've to bring him to D.C.H.L meeting all the friends i knew and have him convinced that i needed to be part of this business. After 2 months of observation, there's no way i could prove it wrong. Everyone's only wish is to be a better person in their future, without any worries on debts and no free time for their love ones.

I met Seng at our station. I told him i'm gonna fetch my dad to our office. At first he didn't agree me doing so, but the fact to let my dad knows what i'm gonna do without showing him something which can fully convinced him is not a good idea. The best idea is should bring him there and let him see what's going on. And so i called him, as usual he'll say bad things about me and almost i couldn't make him come out with me to our office. Of course, i did apply few white lies (God, please forgive me) just to make sure i'll fetch him there, with an open minded, let him discover what's the purpose and the intention i wanted to do in this business.

And so, it's about little drizzling out there, i asked my dad to wear long pants, in case that he's protected from coldness. He didn't care much about what i say, just wore a shirt with short pants. My experience is when i'm at the office, i'll be like freezing in there. My dad didn't say anything at first, while i was on my way to the office, located in KL centre, he asked me where am i fetching him. I just simply said i'm fetching my friend Seng to his office and we'll talk nearby there. I knew he found me fishy doing so, but i can't just tell him the truth at first, or else everything's ruined...

We reached at the car park, and my dad asked me again, "where the hell is this place?" Geez, it's too early for him to know much, i just tell him be cool, we'll talk upstairs, there's tables and chairs available for us. We already got out from the car and still he remained inside the car. I know how he felt, but without the lies and insisting, he wouldn't be here. Thus, i open the car door and just said everything's gonna be fine, no one's gonna take you elsewhere do bad things... He got out, blurred his mind while following me to the place we need to go.

At first, we introduced him the sales area, all the Lampe Berger stuffs (the lamps and the aroma oils) from outside to inside, and he was like away from what we're trying to let him see. Seng's taking the tour guide and he felt a little difficulty due to my dad's behaviour. I can't say much to him cuz the more i'll say, the more he'll be in anger mode and starts to make a quarrel scene. I don't wish to have such scenario...

And then we went to the discussion floor, and he saw many people who were discussing the business, to him it's sort of a surprise. He looked around the people packed the place and even there's training room in progress. We found Ricky, our team leader, just about time he's free to have himself start out a conversation with my dad. We sat at a place, then they all introduced themselves to my dad. Eventually my dad didn't know Seng was my classmate during secondary school in Datok Lokman. Then i told him, and he's surprised too. (well, it's hard to tell his expression but he's my dad, so roughly i know what he thinks.) Coincidently Ricky had a good common business talk with my dad, same field, in clothing industry. At first, Ricky went on and on with their favourite topics, we just listen, and later on my dad started to talk about my stories to them. I already know that no matter how much my dad told them, it wouldn't affected them much. Because we're in the same shit, some may just recovered from their shit and some still in progress to turn a new leaf. My dad went on and on and seriously it's not the point for them to know more bad things about me. All they do care was if i have a heart to do good, i've to passed out my past and look forward to the future, that's how they were trained from the business. I know it's essential for them to listen to my dad's whining, every father will tell bad stories about their children to others, and seriously, if i'm Ricky, i don't even want to listen those shits either, i'll feel annoying, "why do i need to listen other people's bad behaviour? It's spoiling my mood!" Don't you agree? Heh, bet you're not, busybody!

I know that if the more time we spent in the office, the more thirsty and cigy time we felt desperate. So Ricky suggested to have some Chinese tea and some food together at Hakka Restaurant, just opposite our office. It's sort of difficult to cross over the road, so many cars passed by and i'm worried that it'll be troublesome to my dad. Yes, i hope things could go smooth... And we were there, Ricky continued his topics with my dad, ordered food and we ate. After that, Shui (Gary) and Chew arrived, also introduced themselves to my dad. So the whole topic was about China, it's quite interesting to know more about their culture and living lifestyle. Besides, i got interested to go vacation there, maybe with my family or with my darling... (yes, i won't forget about you...) and so, it's already late and i'm sure my dad is nervous to be back home, probably my mom worried of him. Just about time i wanted to make a move, the rain started... Blasted, even more i could think and worried it's troublesome. About few minutes later, the rain went drizzling again and i managed to head back to the carpark to fetch my car, and drive to the restaurant. I left with Seng, and he told me, he believed that my dad was convinced, unlikely to his dad and Shui's dad, were more complicated to be convinced and be fetched to the office. Of course, my dad's nature is to listen to others, and believing them, instead of me. That's sort of his weakness. (i know it's a bad tactic, but if i wanted to do this business with all my heart, even it's a bad thing you think, i had to do what i'm supposed to do...) But i never put high hopes on my dad's thinking, he'll asked his advisors (my uncles, my other uncles, my other grand uncles from Pudu Majestic...) to give a best answer for him to think of it. As... Usual... Sigh...

I went to pick up my dad, left Seng with the others discussing their matters. So on my way fetching my dad home, obviously he went bazooka at me all the way, and i just kept myself quiet all the time. Soon, he kept himself quiet... Hah, he's thinking what's going on just now. What has Ricky told him during my time fetching the car... What he told Ricky when i was not around... I just kept myself quiet and drove all the way back to home. It's still drizzling and i wanted to company him back at the porch with an umbrella. He said it's ok with anger, slammed the door, and went on his own. I couldn't just get out from the car and show my courtesy... He's angry, and i've to let him be... I know i'm bad, and i know that it's his nature during his anger... Fuck, did i do wrong at the moment? Damn, besides, what can i do...? Maybe... After a few days i'm sure he'll be alright.

Then i'm back to my station. Wai was at the cybercafe playing games. Actually he supposed to be at the office, he told me that Gary left earlier, without a transport, he couldn't be there. He said his dad just read a news about a 17 years old teenager boy who wanted to convince a girl to be part of his team in MLM business (not SYN), therefore the girl didn't want to get involved, and so the teenager said bad things about her, and the girl can't tolerate his words, make a news headlines... And this issue had made a bad impression to Wai's dad, after they did closing their business (his family selling Fish Head Noodle), his dad kept saying bad things about our business. Due to the arguement, Wai was late for the meeting. I wished he could be there to see my dad's reaction to this business and the friends i knew. I don't say that it's my part of success to have my dad to be there, this is just an experience for us to learn, and somehow i started it, and there's no difficulties so far. Anything we do in failure or attemps which leads to success, it's for everyone to learn, and to share ideas and build new ones. And the summary of the news, both were commented, it's nobody's fault, it's the matter of money.

Soon, we both went yamcha and about a little while Seng called me, the whole gang were at another place nearby Ampang. We went there, and there's a higher ranking couple were with them. The guy called Jerry, currently well progressed and driving BMW 325i, his girlfriend, Maggi, from China, surprisingly could speak Cantonese well. And we all discussing about business and tactics, and another i fetched along, Sum, he's still in progress to convince his dad that he wanted to join us as a team player. His case was almost similar to mine, his dad will only listen to his best friend. Then, Ricky told me my dad did say something after i left to fetch my car, but he never detailed the whole thing, only my dad will considerate for a day and willing to give a chance for me to the business. I tried to ask more in depths but he said it's not important, everything's in control. And he asked me what did my dad says when i fetch him home. Yes, the Bazooka thing, all the way.

But still, i stay strong, i knew just a nag and scold won't harm me much, if it does, well... I don't wanna say this but, everyone's wondering what i'll do when i'm meeting the END?

I'll buy some liquors, cheap and hard one, buy lots of pills which could drows me like a maniac, get a sharp knife to cut my wrist (after got myself drunk like shit, the pain of the cut would felt like only mosquito bite), with a flat bucket to put my wrist in to let the blood flows smoothly, and bye bye to this cruelty world. I felt hell is nearing me, accepting me to be a slave to them, be tortured and forgetting what i want in my life. Devil's always calling my soul, i'm so near to it, and i pulled back most of the time. Yes, how about i'm a loser now, and never to be a loser in the future? That's what i think, but like my dad, he thinks i'm always a failure, so why i need to waste more time and effort to bring things back to good if there's no hope left?

"when you are announced to be loser, forever you are a loser..." (with devil laughs)

...hmmm, i feel like doing it so much cuz i don't wanna suffer anymore in the real world... But i can't just leave my darling behind, because of her, i stayed strong, as i wanted to succeed in my life. Yes, i'm desperate, and it's announced that i'm hopeless... Fuck, i'm still with my grateful soul, i've to do it!

Anyhow, if me and Cy in a challenge to suicide, i could say, i'll win! Trust me, if i failed...

After the discussion, everyone's back to their crib, and left me wondering what's gonna be tomorrow. I don't have a job right now, yes i quitted the Survey Officer job, my superior is badly dressed than me, i don't want to work for such loser. I wanted to ask my dad if my 3rd uncle wanted an assistant. During Chinese New Year, my uncle did mention that he had a job for me. Only he don't trust me. He kept on saying that i could work, i'm smart, only i'm lazy. Actually i'm not considered myself lazy, i realised that i'm well low self-esteem on my performance and always fast quitting behavior... The moment i knew i can't perform, i'll be sad, and never could've someone who'll understand my condition (i'm not saying you didn't support me, darling) and whenever i tried to tell out, i never do, cuz i might let my best pal felt moody... And also as always, he never wanted to listen to my work problems, as he had his own problems too... If i tell my dad, he'll be angry, and nagging and scolding, the more down i would. So far all the things i've been through was like all by myself, and somehow these symptoms made me lose my jobs and i'm announced to be a loser and a quitter, with fears and anxieties.

What it's so important that i want to be part of the SYN team? They had been through the same shit and they played a teamwork to help ourselves, listening to other's problems and solve it together, that's why it's essential to me. They mind supported me a lot and everytime i'm with them, i gained my mind's strength, and never would someone say bad things about me and i would feel low down. I felt great with them, and the purpose and intention to let my dad know today, i want to change, befriended with business minded people, start doing something that i could achieve what i want.

If ever my best pal cy's reading this, i just wanna let him know:


Anything can be evil, is just how people influence this on others. If that person is evil, any kind of business he do would be evil. Salesman can be evil, developers can be evil, actors can be evil, accountants can be evil, even MLM can be evil. Everything happens to be money, the main issue that affected a person to be evil. Why a boss could be evil to their workers, giving air compliments, empty promises on salary and promotion? Then why bother burden yourself doing your job if you think it's partly evil but you have to do because you need to eat, have fun, buy stuffs and court girls? You'll disagree my point of views cuz you've your point. Honestly i'm in positive mind, not to penetrate these to your mind but to tell you after all the evils we knew, we became part of them, and i'm struggling to pull myself out, and see myself there's hope in me. You've been down in years and you're about to fade away... Open your mind and tell yourself, do you want to get up? Don't hate me telling you all these, you're my pal, this is the best i could say.

Thought of the day... Fuck, did i ever hurt his feelings?

Happy Valentine's Day! (14/2/06)

Today it's a special day to all the couples, and also a birthday to my best pal, Jeffrey.

So in this post i've not much to say, i hope everyone's who's in love can make the love eternity and stick together forever, even boundaries, with laughs and tears, won't torn yall love apart!

Last but not least, thanks to Jeffrey who's been a great friend, who still remembers me as a friend although in times i'm down and you've your back up supports to make me stand up again, and all the sessions you made it successful! Hehe, how about another in some other big day?

Also my darling, it's been 2 years we've been together and never once she would think when i'm down, she'll give up on me. Yes it's true, you love someone like me because i know how to love you. So thank you, my dearest LPC!

May all happy always!

SYN Business Preview... (13/2/06)

Monday, the day i started work at Synovate in Menara IGB, Mid Valley. In the morning, i called Mr Low, my superior, he asked me to go to the office before 11am. So i went, meeting lots of student like workers there with their tees and jeans, guys with spikey hairs like punks, with earrings and tattoos. The girls were young, all geeks. I think all of them were like after graduation or waiting for their SPM results. Then i met Mr Low, a man in his mid 30's, who wore a long sleeve white shirt that almost turned to yellow, the tie that has been more than 5 years, spoke straight forward to my appearances. I don't mind myself wearing dark glasses and some other company's polo shirt, i just came to work as a part time Survey Officer. He was quite busy handling calls and documents, and roughly taught me how to do my job, about half an hour of discussion, he asked me to start my task, call up clients from the lists. He knew i've been working as salesman so he thought i could do it, but the point is i only have the talent to meet people, not through phone. Honestly i hate telemarketing, i don't do sales job through phone, and from my jobscope, i only make appointments with the clients (actually it's called respondances.) and meet them at their offices to do interviews. I don't mind doing this task but he was like so panic upon his job, really affected my mood also.

Somehow i don't like the way he perform his job, it's ok for him being straight forward, but lots of issues that happened, he also tell me, like the person who interviewed me couldn't give much details of what i've asked about my jobscope. He hoped that our conversation (me and the one who interviewed me.) was recorded in a tape, also me and himself... I don't know what's the point doing so but i think it's just part of his job, i seen recorders on every desks, everyone's busy recording and listening other people's recorded conversations. It's almost lunch time and he still insisted me to call up the respondances. I knew that the respondances went for lunch already, then i asked him when is the lunch time, he said it's flexible. Then i asked him again why there isn't any trainings provided, and he said i was experienced in sales job, so it shouldn't be a problem. That's what he thinks, not me. He could be responsible at his job but not being much on their first timer juniors. Then i went to jot down some tactics how to communicate with the respondances. Later on, he saw me doing so, immediately he asked me follow him to his desk and asked me what am i doing. I told him i need some guidance for myself and he said it's such a waste of time, and he laughed. Seriously i don't like him, i begin to hate him. But then, i tried to cool down, just to see how far he could make me feel bad about him. And then he asked me to do a demo making calls through phone with him, and i laughed. And he asked what's so funny about... You see, it's funny to have different point of views that could make a person feel odd about it. I knew my shit is funny, and so his shit. I never against his idea, so i went practise with him through phone. Throughout the practises, it wasn't that easy. He threw a lot of difficulties to me, and somehow he taught me how to do it in proper way. He should have did it in the first place, why wasting my time? And so after a few practises, again he asked me to make calls. I've no tolerance on his attitude like 'hey i'm busy, there's no time, get on with it'... Fuck man, i just do it, regardless his mental psycho teaching. I made few calls and got me much nervous and intimidated, some respondances were quite cocky, they don't entertain such calls which it had no relevant to their businesses. They even threw a few hard questions whereby it's not even from the practises i've learned, and eventually i went blank. The survey was in purposes of not letting the respondances know from which company wanted to have them be surveyed, so in future they would improve their quality in services and standards. Therefore, lots of prank answers came out and some may not work, and so it did flunked my attemps, and i felt very bad about it. I seen other colleagues doing well and fast, i mean, i'm a newbie, i had to be a punching bag for this moment, and so it means, you want someone to make money for company, first few days of proper training is very important.

I met few friends there, those i knew from Fajar, Pandan Indah, during my part time job as Pepsi Promoter. They were busy too, went out to do their jobs. I'm likely solo doing the job for a senior, and so i felt left out. The whole thing to me was fucked up, and i don't think i'll further on to do this shit. And so, about 5pm, i did attemp to make a few appointments, then i called Mr Low, he went out to do his job too, told him i'm leaving. He's sort of high expectation on me because i could speak fluent English, yet the rest to him were incapable. Fuck, i really don't like him, and i don't expect myself working for such nervous, pushy and stubborn senior. So i guess why he would wear an almost yellow white shirt, he couldn't earn much money and buy a new one for a good impression to others. He couldn't find peace to have lunch at the right time. He couldn't calm himself down and make some time to teach me how to do even though i'm experienced but irrelevant on this field. So then, i gave up on this field, that's it.

Later on, i'm meeting Seng and others at our station, they were dressed with blazers, ready to go for the SYN's Business Preview tonight. And so, i didn't drive (my car's not repaired yet!), i followed a friend's car. On our way, we did talk some issues on girls. Likely they knew who's my girl, and they wanted to look for someone like her, a decent, not hot, can be a good future wife. And so, i said, why they never interested in girls which are pretty? The driver, Gary, about 35 years old, told me he never go for pretty girls. Despite his look, with his fortune, i'm sure pretty girls would considerate going out with him. All he knew during this millenium, all the pretty girls would only go for rich and famous. I assured him nowadays the pretty girls do attemp the rich and famous, and some failed to be in long term would thought that money doesn't fulfill their needs. One particular thing i knew, of course money is important for everyone, especially pretty girls. When in times they would be with the rich and famous, all they approaches and get was money, in terms of relationships. But then love couldn't last long, and somehow it'll break their hopes. Their boyfriends would work till late nights, or went out with another pretty girls, and also will get bored with them. Seriously it became a common thing, whereby the girls would only look for money, the guys will know. Or maybe with money but no love, or care and tender, it didn't work to be a love. So then, the guys would play around with them, and later on the girls find out their attemps were getting out of luck, they pulled out. Some might just hate the guys playing with them and more and more they could think, they just go for the money. And some may think money it's no longer a good thing to go for, they'll seek for some guy working a decent job, not rich and famous, but do provide love and cherish their existence.

I mean, a few friends of mine wanted to find such girls, and all was booked by them... Gee, i hate to say this but Gary's a good guy, he had to find himself a good one then.

The Business Preview was held at Sunway Pyramid's Convention Centre. Once we parked the car, people from SYN dressed formally while we just like those common window shoppers... Heh, i wished i could deal my appearance but i'm not even a member, and nobody's ever mention about my informal attire, everyone's invited... The girls from SYN... Oh my God, pretties everywhere, they dressed up even if in formal, they're HOT! I don't think i'm wasting my time there, if i'm a member, i should've the chances to get to know them and went out have lunch or dinner with them, or party with them at Zouk... Mmm... Here goes my day dreaming... Of course, if i go out with them, i'll bring my girl along, cuz she's so interested meeting pretty girls...

All my friends were there, each of us given the entrance ticket, and we waited 15 minutes before the preview begins. I seen lots of visitor came with their wierd colored hairdos with punk attires, piercing and tattoos. So i guess they would think it's crazy to come such place to listen some crap. I never thought what is so crap about this preview, cuz when it's crap, how come there's more than 3000 people attended this preview and listening crap? Or they're just crazy? Wait till you see what's behind all these...

We went in and found our good spot, and just a few minutes later the preview started, and everyone from outside rushing in to be seated. The host made a soft opening of the preview, he asked all of us, how the members managed to bring visitors here? Did the members cheated them? Why they were here? Some were looking here and there wished to be out from the preview because they think it's stupid and crazy. And so the host said, it's not stupid and crazy, cuz here 3000 people who attended this preview, so if it's crazy and stupid, those should be lucky to be accompanied by them cuz they're not the only one here. The host also said, if this preview has ignited some anger from someone who doesn't like it, please hold the anger until the preview ends...

Soon, a few footage shown on screen, about the new era of business, about 4 big business which really making millionaires around the world: manufacturer, developer, distributor and retailer. These main business are getting bigger and bigger around the world and not all the people could've the big bucks to start out, if any rich business man started it, they became much richer than ever. While these are putting an effect in every industries, it became left out for everyone who's incapable. The one who started out will be always the highest status, and never it would drop. Just like major companies like Fed Ex, Nestle, F&N, Spritzer... If i wanted to make a branded drinks from my own, how many years i could achieve to be like them? Things could be possible but chances are never there... When in terms of chances, like 10 years ago, if i went to open a few branches of cybercafes, surely i would be a millionaire, or at least, i could still drive BMW instead of Wira... These are chances, and when it came, only once, and never it'll be a long term. So some are lucky to find themselves making money first, but some later on they started it, it's already too late, what they're seeking is just minor, just like a myth to them, making big bucks is just a dream. Same goes to handphone shop, restaurants, advertising firm... Who started out first would be the richest and most famous... Who could possibly do that?

Then the main guy was invited...

The speaker of the preview was the great Steven Yeam, who built this network so successfully and made hundreds of millionaires from his teachings. Firstly, he asked, why the visitors were invited, how they were convinced to be there? First of all, he hoped that everyone's attended this preview to be open minded, and if they agreed what they've learned here, they should plan what shall they do about their life, and if those who never agreed, they could just absorb what they need to understand and get on with their lives...

He begins with a story his life... (as always, if i'm the speaker, i like to tell my story life, from devastated to success, not really to impress people, just to make people understand life isn't that easy...) while he was at his young time, he doesn't like to study, always get low grades... (like me...) His parents always quarrel about money, and everytime he heard it, he'll stay inside his room all the time. And he was always been under estimated by his relatives, cuz his family was not even average, once he went to eat Dim Sum with his relatives, and his relatives would said to him: "You better eat as much as you can, cuz you won't be eating this by yourself next time..." this surely could make him angry, same to me... And so he promised himself that he would find an alternative to change his life, to make big bucks and shut them up. (gee, i've been wanting to do this cuz i'm in hatred mode with my relatives...) He went to meet his friends, and talked about chances... His friends would say, "hey man, we're struggling in this life, so deal with it... Finding big bucks? Are you out of your mind?" Somehow these words that came out, eventually would put anybody down low than a dog, but he never thought of that, because he still have the hatred of what's with his relatives, so he had to stand strong. He's disappointed to his friends that so many years they were friends and all they say something useless to him. (same to me, i just lucky to have my girl thinking positive and providing much supports as she could...) and so he went to Hong Kong and found an alternative, in MLM business. At first he was sceptic about this business, and he was curious about those people who could make so much money out of it. He went to a business preview, he saw this speaker, short, chubby, full of acne at his face, earned more than HKD20,000 per month. He said to himself, "i'm not a bad looking person, i'm not fat and not even with full of acne on my face, why this bastard could be larger in life than me?" and after the preview he went, he swore to himself, he must be more successful than him. After striving 19 years in Hong Kong and 3 years in Malaysia, he became a legend in MLM business. In fact, everyone in the preview treated him as a hero as he proved to make so many people successful in this career.

He stated out a very meaningful word to us...

"Chance"

Anyone doubts to have a chance of their lives to be a successful person. Just like if ever Uncle Lim (Genting Highlands owner) would distribute his 0.01% of his earnings to you, you don't have to worry about finding a good job, just live the rest of your live with his complimentary fortune. Yes, it's not possible to have this chance, but what if a chance that given to you, even as the same that you work in a company with your full effort, in return is a tremendous income, what would you do? Anyone would want this chance, and of course, do you know what's the real point of a chance? As i stated above about chance, if anyone started it earlier, he could be successful, that's for sure.

Then, a question for all the visitors, why are you here? Yes, to understand the new revolution of business. Everyone in this nation knew MLM was a cheating business, most of the direct selling members would ask their friends to buy products from them, and this had been irritating to many people. Also whenever they invited their friends to be part of the team, most of the time they would think of making money out of them. Usually it's called a pyramid scheme, where the ones who started and have more downlines with them, so they would just relax and let lower ones do their jobs, just like no differences from working in a company, as always your boss would earn big bucks no matter how much effort you threw in. So then, it's just happened to have the juniors realised that they were cheated and further more they quitted and told everyone this can't be done and it won't be a future for them. Actually i was one of the victim, i did tried to work out in an MLM business, and most of the members are doctors, bankers, lawyers... Also, i needed to buy the products which are much expensive every month and i couldn't afford anymore later, and so i couldn't go anywhere from there, my upline always call me to attend seminars which cost me few hundreds till i'm broke... I haven't started and i'm already bankrupt... And still i can't be as the same level after months i never buy the products or sell some... And therefore, i assumed it's cheating, just like i'm working in a company doing sales...

(Somehow i'm not much remembered what he talks about, there's so much to say, even there's 2 guests of couples from Hong Kong and Singapore gave the speech, so i hope if it's happened to be the 2 guests said but not Steven Yeam, i apologise...)

Steven Yeam said, in this business, there's no way we all go from ups or downs, we go sideways, like partners. We do things and make money together, no doubt who earned more, as long the teamwork was there, things would go right. I always wanted to do business whereby my friends will walk together with me, and i found this, it's very suitable to fulfill my dreams. I do believe every single word he said cuz after 2 months, i observed every single points of it, extracted few facts and assured it's a good start for me. In 2 months of joining my friends from SYN, all i knew was they never thought of making money out of me, if they did i'm sure i'll know cuz i'm not stupid, i've gone through some shits and i swear it won't be another time. They still contact me and go drinks and few parties, they even paid the money for me. I'm not just thinking they had been bribing me for future plannings, i mean, more than 10 of them, and everyone has their own dreams, and they wanted to have someone they would like to share and walk together to success...

Then Steven Yeam stated few things in life, what we wanted...
(there's 5, i knew few only, forgetten the others...)

First, money... Yes, everyone's having problems with money, can be fatal in marriage, family and friends... What's so important about money? I'm sure everyone knows about it. When in terms of finding money, which that you could really find lots and lots till you never worry about your problems? He stated a lot and i still can't recall much, so let's move on to the next one, maybe in future i'll state more...

Family... Yes, how about you could bring few thousands for them instead of few hundreds? And buy them big houses and cars to drive, vacation in overseas and live in healthy life? He mentioned about his hometown, comparing Bangsar. He had seen Bangsar's children are healthy and so cute, all dressed nicely and well educated. While he looked back his hometown, Kepong, the kids were dressed dirty and hardly they could be well educated, as well as the place they grow up could be some sort of pollution in mind, where there's gangsters and punks... It's so different. Anyone who heard such things would choose Bangsar, to give their children in more proper life. That's important to have yourselves thinking what's going on in this life working a permanent job that only secure a certain limit for your family.

Then, materialistic... Anyone wants to live in big house and sports car. Imagine you could provide your love ones a nice LV bag on Valentine's day, how would they feel? How about go for a dinner at a high class restaurant with them? How about a vacation in Bali? And so on he pointed out few facts that are really true, even we knew about it but not realising it...

Later on, he invited the guests from Hong Kong, a couple to give some speech. I don't remember what are their names but they have a group from Hong Kong lead by them came and gave a huge applause to them. So i remembered a few things he stated, some stories which really made us realised facts of life. For instant, he said he like to be in Malaysia because of the people, and the Nasi Lemak. He said in Hong Kong, the people are very straight forward on things they decided to do, they won't hesitate on anything cuz what they're facing in their market was absolutely fast, whatever they're consuming are expensive, and the rates of their salary are getting matchless than the price of the products. And also how do they speak on things they like or don't like, it'll really hurt someone's feelings but it's just has been common to everyone there. Here, he knew the Malaysians are quite closed minded, they'll say something good about you but from behind they'll say bad about you... So it's true, we're just protecting ourselves... Also, he told a story about a working permanent job guy and a beggar. It begins with a guy who's working and there's a time he went home and passed by a beggar. And so he laughed at the beggar, "stupid, be a beggar, never thought of finding himself a job..." then the beggar laughed back at him, "stupid, working a permanent job..." so the working guy was surprised, why would a beggar laugh at him. So the beggar asked him, does the working guy had to work everyday? The working guy said yes... And the beggar replied, "i like to work whenever i want, it's my own will..." and he asked the working guy again, how much he earned from the job? The working answered about RM2000... And the beggar replied, "i want to earn how much i want, it's my own will..." he asked the working again for the last time, where do he live? The working was proud to tell he's staying in Jln Peel. And the beggar replied, while packing up his stuffs, "i want to live anywhere i want, it's my own will. So would you please excuse me, i'm on my way to Bangsar, my next place to stay..." it's sort of funny to listen but it reflected to us that a permanent job which really stucked and sucked our life, when there's alternative, we won't change, cuz we feel fear to lose, we only knew how to secure, until no matter how we secure, there's nothing left for us to achieve... It's all because of fear...

Another fact, like Coke (Coca-cola, not drugs...). He asked what's the price of Coke was sold in mamak stalls? How about in pub? And how about in a high class hotel? What's so different about Coke? It's still a same old Coke but why it's sold in different prices? He put Coke as our designation, whereby we all are the same human being, why there's a value in us? Why we don't push ourselves as a value in a high class hotel?

And so on, the Hong Kong guy ended his speech and invited a Singaporean couple to give some speech. The Singaporean couple can't speak Cantonese that well but they tried to speak. So the husband said, he quitted his well developed business and joined this network. After a year, he met back his friend, knowing him dropped his career and joined SYN, and he asked "i don't know what to say, but are you crazy?" and so the Singaporean guy said, "yes, i'm crazy, but in fact i'm earning money crazily..." everyone clapped hands madly... Once, he brought his friend to SYN Business Preview, and his friend said, "hey, it's always the most successful person who gave the speech, of course la..." and the Singaporean guy replied, "yes, precisely. Well, don't tell me you expected the losers who gave the speech then?" Also, he pointed out, when dealing this business, it gave him fears, of losing hope, like nobody's gonna listen to him about this business. So he made a metaphor, it's just like a roller coaster, before you ride, while lining up, you'll have great fears, and when it's your turn, while sitting inside and the ride has begun, you'll said to yourself it's already too late. After the thrills of the roller coaster with high rounds and corners, when you get out, you felt relieved, and you wanted to feel the thrill again, just like he do this business... Everyone also clapped like mad...

So after him, Steven Yeam took over the speech, could be the last one cuz the time has been up, quite late already. And so he wanted everyone to know he built this network, he'll work hard to ensure everyone in this nation that MLM business in not cheating people, and he hoped that after this preview, every visitors will not say bad things about it.

Honestly, i almost cried few times, my tears almost burst... Why? I've been struggled more than 10 years and i've achieved nothing in my life and only i earned disappointments from my family. I wanted to be part of the team and never would have people in my life i knew could support me, instead of supporting me doing things that i don't like... I wanted to do it but i'm so incapable in the moment. I wished that my friends and family could understand what i want out of my life. Only the friends i knew from SYN, the friends from Cybercafe, who had been through the same shit like me knew what's going on with our life, constantly mind supported me. I do cherish them as friends cuz they do care about me, always inform me what to do the best and never left me out to what they were doing or partying. I never had such experience in my life and i wanted it so badly, i don't want to go back to my old life again, the negative one. I want to live larger than life, make proud to everyone i knew in my life... It's just the matter of time...

I knew what i've said here doesn't give a big impulse to everyone, it's just because i'm there, i could feel the fact, and also some may think i'm just talking crap. This post will be remembered as once i'm unsuccessful, in future when i become successful, i'll look back, and be glad that i wrote this post, even there's no people who would be interested...

Thank you all the friends i knew who supported me!

Pool Party at Federal Hotel, Jalan Bukit Bintang... (12/2/06)

It was Sunday, i had too much sleeping. I supposed to meet my girl in the morning but i woke up at 5pm... Damn, how wasted the weekend, but i've enough sleep though... She called few times that i hardly could listen to my phone rang due sleeping like a pig. I knew she would've been mad after few times i can't bare myself to put her at first priority, by all means my priority would be sleeping all the way like there's never be tomorrow for me... Like suicidal case, i'm pretty nuts thinking of that. Past previous posts, i'm almost decided to leave the world of cruelty, but then when in terms of 'never give up', i gotta get my shit together no matter how...

Ok, after i woke up, she called again, and asked me if i'm gonna fetch her. It was raining heavily, and she told me her place stopped raining, so it's easier for her to come over, as i know my car can't travel too far, just 3 nuts screwed at a rim, quite dangerous... About 7pm, Seng called me and we rendezvous at our primary station: Thundernet Cafe. All the friends were not there yet, so we went for dinner while waiting the rest to join us. Therefore some changes been made, we went to the Pool Party ourselves...



The party started earlier before evening, and all the guys and girls were playing in the pool. The food were almost finished and the pool party almost ended... I'm sad cuz i can't easily take pictures using my phone at dark, only few can be at least could take. I asked Seng few times what time the party started, at first he said about 2pm, then the other day he said it started at 8pm. Somehow i can't blame him cuz he wanted to bring some friends to join us too but some need to work till evening. Sort of wasted, imagine i could see the pretty girls in bikini or swimsuits at daylight, clear view...

This day was considered as Chap Goh Mei, last day of Chinese New Year, also known as Chinese's Valentine's Day, centuries ago, girls would have to gather themselves at a river, with the mandarin oranges at their hands, they needed to write down their names and throw it at the river, so the guys also would have to gather themselves on the other side of the river, each of them had to collect only one mandarin orange randomly to search for their soul mates. It had become a tradition to all the Chinese and now not much people doing that cuz some might think bringing their love ones to dinner, movie or their love nest, just that simple. Somehow this pool party made this tradition alive and everyone's having fun. When technology becomes handy, the girls wrote their names and their mobile phone numbers on the mandarin orange and throw it at the pool, so the guys like hungry wolves would swim across here and there just to collect the mandarin oranges. But the part of getting it, i'm not sure they'll call the girls to meet up and have a date, all i knew the concept was made for fun, also might be something going on with the lucky new dates, not sure about that.

Some guys would like grabbing the girls and throw them into the pool, even they were not dressed in swimming suits. Seng's friend also, he came without a swimming trunk, forced to strip, left undies with him and joined the fun, Seng also almost a victim to that, but the pool section has ended, so everyone needed to clear off the premises, i may say, he just got lucky, and me too...

That's not all, there's a Big 2 card game was held, with 32 contestants had to win till left 4 contestants in final. I did play few rounds, yet i told myself not to touch any card games. I swore that i never play any games which it involves gambling, i hate gambling very much, seriously. Not even buying lottery tickets just to have the luck winning big bucks, not my character. I admit i used to gamble when i was 16, working and after i got my salary, i finished it in a day of gambling... That's crazy, i know, so it reminded me not to start a gamble thought anymore in my whole life, not if i'm rich. Maybe i wasn't have much luck in life... Not sure. When i played a few rounds, i won most of the time. The best was the round i won just in few seconds, got lucky getting nice cards. Sometimes i played Big 2 card game in my phone that i installed it previously, so i shouldn't have any problems winning the game. So the whole game was very funny, we're the most noisiest table with laughs and talks, attracted the other tables of players wondering what were we laughing about. I hope my girl still there watching the fun, cuz i laughed till my tears dropped and stomach aching.

My girl left earlier cuz she need to work on Monday, my instinct told me right, she had to drive so when she needed to leave, it's easier than i left with her. I need to stay longer to see what's happening after the party, maybe my friends wanted to have a short gathering. After this Chinese New Year, i've to work hard and stay on busy without thinking of clubbing or window shopping, cuz i know i need to work out some money to do things i wanted. It's about half year passed and still i'm empty, so this year i should show myself some good results and the following year i wouldn't be so tense and uptight on my financial. Thus, i won't be have more time spending with my girl. On every Saturday, i must be at my parent's house for dinner, most importantly i need to coop up the relationship i've lost 11 years ago, my bad. My parents are getting old, my mom became forgetful and my dad hardly could wander around Pudu to spend his retirement period. My cousin nephews from 1 to 4 already, and i don't know their names, they even don't know who am i. My cousin sister got married, and my other cousins got boyfriends and girlfriends, almost planning to get married. I'm sort of left out... Damn, but i don't think it's late for me, i must work things out.

Back to the Big 2 card game competition. And so the last 4 to the final, 3 guys, 2 Chinese and a Singh, and a Malay girl. Everyone's playing carefully cuz whoever won will receive RM500 cash money sponsored by Steven Lok... (maybe soon you'll know who's this main guy, who organised and sponsored everything to this Pool Party) I couldn't believe a Malay girl could win until final, her moves were not that professional, but i've no doubts for the guys. Lastly, the Singh guy, people called him 'DJ', won the game and was rewarded. He's the one in the picture i took about the card game, the guy at the centre top.

Then, it's the call of the night, everyone's leaving, i followed Chew's car back to my place and went a short drink with Seng, planning about tomorrow's Business Preview at PWTC presented by Steven Yeam. They kept telling about the his talk show's greatness, not to say i never been such seminars, but this time i only pay RM20 or less for the talk show, so it's not a burden to see how great it was. Whenever there's a Business Preview, it surely costs more than few hundreds to thousands for one time experience, how could i possible be interested and willing to pay such amount even it's so good to experience it? I personally like to listen to other people's experience in business, they have their concepts and strategies, some may apply for future business, and it's very important for those who want to upgrade their professions by learning from others. Although i'm not involved in any kind of business, surely it'll be a good learning progress for me, knowing it first before i became shitty by the time problems came.

Also, when there's an MLM business preview, lots of people won't be interested. So am i, but that's just in the beginning. It's just because most of it only talks about the same thing from a script, or just about the money talks could make people's mind fade away... Just like selling a fridge to an Eskimo, everything that's relevant made people think it's impossible and absurd, by all means it's crap. What i think is when they say they know or understand, they knew nothing. How about the things you've achieved and you never realised that's possible? Luck? It's about effort that could make someone successful, just as simple as that. The preview is to let the people explore how can a business makes a person successful in life, realising the facts and natures of all the business.

You see, we are in this world full of negatives, for example, we work in a company, with colleagues and superiors. When the first day of work, everyone's friendly with you, teach you how to do your job, a little guidance to help yourself achieving sales target (or which may apply due your jobscope). After few months, rumours heard from the colleagues, like he don't like you cuz you made more sales than him, or maybe some colleagues may say something bad about you to others although you know yourself doing nothing wrong just to make sure you ain't promoted for the next few months. Or maybe you knew your colleague could do more sales than you and you tried to seek guidance from the colleagues, he/she may eventually give you a little guidance just to make sure you would never win him/her... Things could happened like that even you knew but not realised, and somehow these symptoms could break your hopes to pieces and everytime you came back from work, all you need to do is whining at your friends, and friends you have won't be so much interested listening to your crap as though they have the same shit like you. When time goes by, you'll turned into society crap with all the superficial nasty bastards clinging you on the wall as punching bag. After all the pain you've gone through, finally you'll be someone higher status and it's about time to pay back, and all the new colleagues will be your new punching bags, expressing your hatred in the past to them, and finally you've trained a new generation of fucked ups who will continue your mean teachings on the others... Well, we knew it's a 'Dog Eat Dog' world, and we need to have something which we could understand we're humans and with trial and error, we need to coop up the positives. And whatever i said it's easier than to be done, as long as i know if nobody starts it, it'll never reveal the good side of the human nature. I knew somebody did it, and thank God for those whose not punching bag victims, and peacefully live their life with their permanent jobs.

That's why people creates religion, the have the people believe there's always hope if they could make the effort to find out, same to the working people, they need to know what's wrong with their working life, so there's a Business Preview for everyone. They just don't want to fight it as they were sure it's a losing point, like they said, everyone's doing the right thing to make a living. When there's a chance that could really change a person's life, they would considered it a denial. How denial it was? When that particular person could start out a new venture of business, which could have taken his first few years of hard attemps, thereafter he could enjoy his new life with his hard earned big bucks, just as simple as talking about working in MLM business, as prefer considered as a denial fact. Like i said, doing the routine of the normal job is a right thing to do. Ok, let's sort out my point of view:

I worked more than 10 years without a certificate in hand, and what i've earned most was RM2000 plus. Therefore i could eagerly managed to pay my car, and further on i'll be worrying of how much more i could earn to buy a house, get married and have kids? Years by years passed and everything seems much more expensive and even people who earned RM5000 were burdening themselves having houses and cars, with wife and children. Others would see they're successful, earning lots of money. But think of it, how long would it lasts? How about a business you have, like a handphone shop. At first few years you'll owe debts from banks, another few years later you could see some results from your business, and another few years later you'll see somehow other people would have more branches than you, and even earning more than you, and when this became more and more shops opened, your business has become diverted and distributed, your turnover had became devastated and lastly you'll have to cover the loss, and became in debts again. Whatever you sell has not much value, and you beg for more alternatives to improve and more selections and more and more headache you'll get. So then, why everyone's encouraging others to do business like that even they knew it'll be a burden in the end? Why they never think it's a denial for that? A pollution of society: "Wah, do business ar? Good wor, as a boss, got time swinging dicks around and more money to spend." In other words, they see you nice and neat, but your background was a pile of shit.

I always wanted to do my own business, after i heard friends having shits to secure badly, i'm afraid that i need to continue thinking what sort of jobs could make me secure my life, forgetting the hopes i ever had: nice cars, nice house, married in happy life with kids... All these had became from hopes to fears, and when i see that, i see dead end, and as always i'll be in my old life, wandering like a loner with thoughts of suicide...

These symptoms always been in everyone, and no one wanted to change it as they've adapted it like an obligation to them. That's how i realised, and when i tried to put this topic up with friends, they always said 'this is life man, deal with it.' When will this be changed? How far a person would think of his life just only find a job and work? How long could he work? How much he could get? How high hopes he'll be when he met lots of boundaries i've mentioned above? I've seen these through a lot and it keeps me terrified, wondering what it'll be next for me?

I think most of the people knew a book called 'Rich Dad, Poor Dad'. My dad is 'Poor Dad', and i don't say my friends from SYN are 'Rich Dad'. Why? Simple, Rich Dad did mention 'let the money runs for you...' The SYN people never thought of money runs for them. All they knew was the team playing part, helping each other and the goodness to learn from each other. Yes, whatever you do, money always comes to you, but in terms of runs to you, you don't need to work hard but just a minor management. That's how people think it's crap, and cheating others. What they contributed were much more unexpected, yet it's true enough to believe, cuz the office they own, all the high rankings contributed big sums of money, even the tables for the juniors to sit and talk about business. Also the seminars they held, how come i pay only RM20? Actually things don't come free and also it's possible to have us paying a little just to experience it, the rest were contributed by the high rankings. Why would they do that? Because they care the juniors, they are not the ones waiting for the money runs for them but to make money works for everyone, like compliments. When they contribute, they know themselves they have the responsiblities, and they won't just left out waiting the money runs for them. That's exactly impressed me and wanted join them, knowing more what's behind this business, why would the leaders care and not just the money they wanted to earn. This is a positive business, a good marketing plan and i'm sure it's not cheating. And also there's no selling, cuz all the things we need to do is provide business proposal. Lampe Berger products are only items that could support this business. Tell me, what sort of business you can propose without a single item to support your business? Believe me, any kind of business, there must be an item or more, without a shit, that's cheating...

Is the same as if i'm selling office equipment. Once i started it, of course in the first place i need to have some clients. Likewise, i have friends had their own business which they need stuffs i'm selling, and therefore i'll go to them and propose. Some may just accept my proposal and my sales will work on. And randomly i'll have anonymous clients, they'll get my stuffs every month for their business and same as the terms of 30 or 60 days. Soon, i'll be in debts cuz i may have more incoming new stocks and the old stocks jammed through halfway, few of my friends or clients hold up the payment and i'm doomed paying back my suppliers, later on my suppliers would've late deliveries on my orders and finally my shithole got deeper... My suppliers cut contract with me, my friends talking shits about my price and quality of stuffs, and therefore my business went devastated... It's just a common thing that happens to anyone who's dealing any kind of business. Doesn't common stuffs bores you?

But the differences between the business of MLM and my so called office equipment:

We don't have terms of 30 days, or contracts. We don't have debts between us, we don't have to pay expenses on employees, rent and utilities. We don't have jammed stocks and late deliveries. We don't have to be so politics about our job and colleagues. I've said about this business nature, we don't sell stuffs but business proposal. We just find the right candidate who understand the positives of this business, he'll join us as business partners, (same as clients or friends who deal with my office equipments). Then we'll venture together to find more candidates and all of us earning money together, without doubts of who could find more. It's still a job which people could find money, as long people believe that this business could bring their hopes back and not being so negative to shits you've gone through.

And yes, people would think it's still cheating other people's money. Why?

Heh, if i sell you my office equipments at normal price (which you were convinced by me it's cheaper than you think) and i earned my sales target and live in luxury life, how you know i cheated? You'll just think for yourself, as everyone do: nah, he needs to earn more to cover his expenses. Come on, how about in the other way, which your friends asking more discounts from you (if they really knew the prices in the market and think your goods are highly marked up), soon you'll be eagerly paying your expenses and therefore your friends would live a luxury life. So by all means in cruelty, in the end who's the sohai? Haha...

In this nature of business, nobody's gonna be assholes. Summary, we only help people who in need to achieve their hopes. There can't be cheating in this business, compared to the real world of business. Everything's in set of amount whereby there's no marked up and discounts, fair and square. People who worked harder, of course he has the higher achievement and it doesn't mean he'll be bossing you around, he'll befriend with you and venture the business with you, giving all the guidance you need without a selfish thought. What the Business Proposal has previewed really put in depths of being a real positive human being, and surely the higher rankings knew what kind of responsibility they'll provide to the low rankings.

Somehow, all these words are just the thought of the day after the Pool Party. Ricky, our team leader had put out some points of dealing our life's most wanted achievement. Nobody likes to work for a company, and anybody wants to work for themselves. This is the change of life, a chance given and no doubts i'll be like him, tell the newbies the same old points again, just to make sure:

What YOU want for your LIFE?