From night job convert to morning job... (Friday 28/7/06)

I had enough working night job. Imagine that i've been throwing away food that's delicious, as the customers kept taking it so much cuz it's free, and let it cold under the aircond. Some just leave it as they looked cool to have full table of food. I think those who goes karaoke to have free buffet, they're too greedy to choose delicious types and can't even finish most of it. I think that's stupid, or sohai, if you get what i mean. Although it's free, it's not the way you do that. Of course, you might say, "i do my way as i like it, it's none of your concern..." in fact, i am, dumb ass. It really affected me, i can't have an appetite on my daily meals. I look at food, i'm not hungry anymore. I'm immuned to delicious food, even if i'm hungry, i still eat very little, mostly one meal per day, and it's been 3weeks and i caught myself getting sick, lack of minerals and vitamins, and i'm getting really skinny. Good thing Jordan said i looked good this way, better than last time, fatty andy... Haha... So, i can't stand the job kept me walking around none stop, and being a handyman after work. You know, i hate wearing slacks and do dirty shit. I could change my clothes before i do the work, but i won't be able myself washing 2 sets of clothes per day. And it seemed to have wasted most of my free time, don't even mention to able myself to do washing stuffs. Whenever i come home, my feet are burning as too stress on walks and stands.

Today's the first day... And yet last night i went for jamming and came back home late, got myself woke up late for work...

I was at the shop, for a moment i been there and i'm transfered to another shop. The whole day was busy serving customers and taking stocks. The time passed in haste, i couldn't imagine it's already a day i've worked and i was damn fucking tired. The only first day i worked, i found One Piece DVD volumes from episod 1 till end. I asked if i could borrow and watch it at home. My colleague said i've to return it the next day so there's no suspicious on staffs stealing company's property. Hey man, i'm not stealing any shit from anyone, i only like to borrow and return back as i should.

So, my daily activities will be working in the morning from 10.30am till 9pm, back home, watch my favourite animation One Piece and sleep. Off days? Randomly request. My lady boss told me i can take any day off once a week besides weekends. Fuck weekends, there's not much fun at all when i turned 26. Friends got married, some work overseas, some just don't even go clubbing anymore. KL is huge, full of varieties in entertainment, food, and shopping. When i get long enough with these, i eventually got bored and like to stay home more often than going out. Only if there are friends invited me for outings, that'll depends on places they'll go. However, home's the best place to be, sleeping is the chore for me...

5th August... Hmm, i'm excited. I never expected to be invited for the opening act. Although it's just an underground scene, but it's already attracting some people who's in the music industry to spectate how weird our songs will be. I already accept that the audiences are hardly accepting our music genre cuz they can't understand what kinda music are we playing. At first my girl couldn't accept, then later on we evolved, and she started to like our band's songs. I don't know if she just trying to say something better for not hurting my feelings, but all the while she's been telling me the truth, and only this really a matter to me.

Well, things going well, hope it's not impulsing my mood...

Bye Bye Permanis... You got me real stiff... (Thursday 27/7/06)

Have you ever happened to get involved in a situation which already made you an idiot, hardly could trust any company you're currently employed? Once i've gone through, and the CNY part time job Permanis (Pepsi), they did it to me... again, second time i was effected, and there goes my mood...

I've been longing to collect the payment from this sub-contract Bizarre Marketing which is located in Bangsar. Previously, what they've offered was attractive, but of course, i'm desperate, which turns me out to be an idiot, worked hard, sell hard, end of the day, i got no shit from them. It seems to have people get involved in same case, sure is common, but when people around me kept asking about my payment, i'm lost for words. Therefore, i'm a total idiot who's so desperate before, and i've been a slacker ever since. I've lost my will to find suitable jobs, simply found one and work, don't care about working hard or so. I'm indulged with my sorrows, any advices given can't properly taken. I'm sorry, and this has been happening past half year.

So, this starts my story of the day...

It was my off day this day, i went to check out new vacancy on pc software shops at Low Yat, Sg Wang and Imbi. Gosh, this mall is really full of people spending their time surveying prices, and checking out the latest gadgets around. It seems to have some difficulties to choose which shop that i could work. Some so dull, some are grand. My pal cy sent me a sms, with a phone number for me to call. I told him my work situation, and he's been a helpful-thought friend, he went to buy some relevant items, passing by and jot the number for me. Knowing that i can't handle the current job, maybe i go for something fresh, just to suit my capabilities.

I went for walk-in interview in one of the shops, eventually they don't speak to me at first. They needed me to leave my phone number so one of the person in charge will call me as soon as they got the notice. Few moments later, a lady called, the office was situated differently from the shops. So i went, and talked with her. She an old lady, very fond to speak to. She's nice, and i'm quite comfortable talking to such person. Later on, i was employed and starting the next day. And what about my current job? Nah, i'll return their belongings tomorrow night, after i finished my new work, heh... The payment is quite low, yeah, i could manage. The off day will be slightly flexible and therefore no off days on weekends (that's pretty sad, but money is the matter now, holiday on weekends will revive after i'm done with savings for the next year's trip.), only if there's emergency or sickness... Bla bla bla common policy... I don't think everyone's into company's policy, depends...


I left after lunch time, and straight ahead to Bangsar. I knew the first i won't be calling them to say i'm on my way, there's no necessity. Past few months till now, i've tried to call the office, the person in charge and relevant officers, none of them answer the calls, or no coverage. Fuck, what's wrong with these people? Are they running away from the employees? And so, i was there, and the company still running normally, as nothing happened. I told one of the officers, called Mark. I heard his name before, and he did answered my call before long ago. He's just like a teenager, perhaps he's younger than me, which i doubt. You know, once i was there, my rage is on. I feel like screwing up people there. I controlled my anger, i talked nicely to Mark, told him everything he needs to know. Thus, he checked the data of the past employees and found my name and my payment, which is less than i'm expecting. In that moment, i've given my thoughts of getting less payment already, and i'm not refusing to take it, as long as they pay much as i deserved. The director was in the room, and i was asked to be seated and talk to him. You know, i can concentrate every word he said that maybe occuring some faulty info, just to make sure he's not against some rude attitude from me. I'm cool, i'm only wanted him to say what the fuck is going on. And yes, he said that Permanis is not paying any cents for us, and they've closed their doors long before i came today. They can't make up any payment, yet the sub-con Bizarre was a goner too, so the new director, which is him, i didn't get his name, but fuck cares man, i want my money and i do know who's who in that company! And so he continued that Permanis is in legal court case now, they tried to collect as many invoices as possible so they could pay me and the rest. Recently, my collegue collected by cheque, and now he's telling me the payment will go through bank accounts. Again i'm giving them my bank account number. He said sorry once to me, for the fucking half year i've waited. I said to him, was it my fault to here that late? It's not that i never call to chase the payment, i don't even have the time, and last month i supposed to go but i was injured. The time my collegue came was the time they're paying the wages by installment, like my collegue, she only collected RM500, then the next month she'll be collecting the rest. My case now, i still can collect that amount, but the rest he never could promise me. What i've given my whinings to him also no point, i wished i never talked like that to him, i'm in pain, desperate wanting that money to cover my daily expenses. I couldn't pay my bills in the moment, for this stupid shit hold me up once already a headache. I could see he wanted me to see his sorrows, his partner, one of the shareholder messed up everything, and Bizarre is no longer an active company, i can't remember he told me the current company's name, and don't care more cuz i knew where they stated, and i'm going to check on them once in a while during off days. If something's fishy, then i'll release my enforcement, my great uncle... I wish that i could put up a court case too, make sure they pay me more than i expected... Ah... This is difficult, depends on my uncle's interests...

So the director kept answering calls from anonymous, what he replied was all about legal case on Permanis. Tell me, if i ever wanna drink carbonated drinks, i'll definately choose F&N, but not working for them la. There's a call which i heard from the director, he said F&N pays well and never been such an asshole like Permanis. You know, during the whole conversation with him and Mark, with all the will controlling my anger, i still screw them like dogs, like teaching kids to be in manner. Gosh, i could be worst than them but they've given me an opportunity to blast them. Again, the director said another sorry and was not in a private moment to settle my case, only if i could wait another 1 or 2 weeks for him to work out the payment. In reply, i wish that he could simply do it within a week yet i no longer have the patience to wait. He said that's all he could put up the effort and hopefully i can cooperate. One sigh in front of him, and i left. My heart was burning madly and i called my pal cy. In the morning he said he's flexible to leave his office, and i'm done with my stuffs now. I told him everything that already kept in me long time, and i guess he's not entertained... I'm sorry pal, i hope i never hurt your feelings, i just wanna find someone i could tell out. My gf? She's more emo than my pal so probably my pal could take up the shit. Sorry again... Why are we pals till now? You've guessed it...

Here now i'm in KLCC, nearest to my pal's office in Jelatek. He's quitting his job and starting another year of 30-days artist. The attraction was high, even other countries like U.S, U.K and some other countries, male or female, young and old, all inspired artists. I'm an artist too, not active, skills dropped, only my pal knows. I'm good at sketching, 2B pencils are my main medium. I've drawn a few portraits of a girl i used to in love, and also my gf now. Damn, i wish i could get back the originals from the girl, 8 of them, i drew those when i was in Pahang outstation task.

My pal only can leave at 7pm. Now... 5.30pm... Fuck, i'm all here typing this post, releasing my feelings of hatred. I hate myself being an idiot, hate my previous company, hate my current job, hate myself being penniless (poor la, exaggerating only...), hate to be 50% skills of everything i've learned... I can't even be perfect on one of the skills. Actually i don't like to be at KLCC, it kept me sleepy. The aircond was colossol, the atmosphere was filled with branded fragrance (i don't like those fragrance that much, it gets me fell sick like flu), pretty malay girls passing by with their sexy outfits (compared to Chinese girls, they're even hotter!). I only look at them, never felt any attractions. I only love my darling, she's the only one who has the key to my heart... Mmm... Goosebumps... Haha... If only she read this...

What's my purpose to wait for my pal today? Yes, we need to practise before the gig. I can see the most excited member is Jordan. If you don't know who's Jordan, you can check out his pic with us at our previous Paul's Place gig posts. Once i haven't get to know him, and my pal kept telling me he's the big fan of Airtight Noise. Ha, who goes there? Only one? I don't know, let's say it's not the time to define it as big deal, cuz we still have long way to go. Underground Indie Rock Scene is not an easy thing to build up. Our band already 12 years old (i guess...), and the songs we composed were not finalised. The recent demos from the gigs has been kept, and everytime we jam, new songs created. The more we do, the less we need to organise. From grunge, to rock, heavy metal, indie rock, emo rock... Now part of orchestra style, like God Speed You Black Emperor... They are genius... And also some other bands... I don't know their names, i know what type of style they played. Cy's the main source, if i need reference, he'll provide.

It's funny when people around me asked what songs i play with the band. I reply avantgard... Correct me if i'm wrong, that's what i'm told. So usually they'll guess that i'm in hardcore rap band like Korn or Limp Bizkit. Heh, i can't compete myself with David Silveria and John Otto, they're fabulous. I like them, the strokes were fantastic. David's good at toms, John's pro on cymbals. Combining the both force also can't compete the mighty Mike Portnoy from Dream Theater. For now Carter Beauford (Dave Matthew's Band) has been No1 drummer in the world. Got Woodstock '99? You can see how well Carter played...

Ok, my off day today... Hmmm... My girl's not coming to visit me as i'm meeting my pal later. She's upset for not seeing me, and she's going for company trip to Cameron Highlands in the whole weekend. Of course i missed her, every minute and everyday, even whenever i saw a couple, or more, which reminds me of us together going out.

I'm tired on typing, signing off and wish me the best on my new job...

Too many 'wish' words in this post...