sigh, i think the haze was gone then. rather on friday night after i met my girl, sent her home right i woke up at 5am, the time she wasn't supposed to be, in fact she'll get grounded or maybe scolded for that reason, perhaps it's not a good thing to happen to her for get scolded by her parents.. after fetched her home, i don't know what's going on with me, i felt uneasy, later on i felt my body was weakening... yup, i guessed it's time for me to fall sick..
it was so outrageous, the sick was totally dominate my strength to do things, dort of like going to toilet peeing, or even shitting.. i drank water like drinking nothing down in my throat. i can't even feel appetite to have something in my stomach.
i tried to get up, it was too painful to do so. it was friday, i took my chances. i never went to work, called my superior and informed him, he doesn't sound really convinced.. fuck it, i'm doomed in sickness. what chances i took, what i mean was i stayed up while i was sick, despite the sickness, i controlled myself getting up, do something which i do normally, carrying the sick burden. i know it's hard, man, i got the grip to myself. it was so dizzy, i mean, i'm in hell, my body burned like lava. i turned on movies, i can't really watch it. i turned on playstation, i felt numb on playing, even the characters were talking, i assumed that there were just talking to me, not to the others, then unconciously i followed their instructions on doing things they wanted in the game, so automatically, and numb too. i was stupid, but it helps to get through some levels, and really, honestly really, i don't have the determination to complete any levels at all, i was without interests, the sickness was really controlling me and i can't make it go away.
i know i didn't ate any pills to stop the pain, i took my chances, liked i said, the feeling is versatile, like i'm with the weed thingy mind doing things, which weeds never gave any pain to me, only halucinations and some kinda funky funny mind on thinking things in weird perspective. oh my, can't tell much about it, you guys out there may probably never stood up and be like me this way, better stay in bed and recover soon. i doing this like stile (
http://www.stileproject.com), i read his stories before, he's crazy, and he did it until he finds himself now, kinda successful merchandiser. forget about the porn thing he has, only matters is he's doing fine, with his determination. stupid relevant, i mean, to this, i know what i'm talking about, rather you could understand.. he did stupid stuff, so do i, while i was sick.. hehe..
i'm done on saturday 3pm, went to sleep. nobody called me, even my girl, like i'm dead. i woke up at 5am.. gosh, look at the time. ok, i felt a little dizzy, too much sleeping, then i went out for a breakfast, so far i was overslept for over 16 hours, i deserved to eat something. then i went to cc and update my blog, played RAN (i got the link right below, at the picture of the girl, she's cute but not my type.. asians.. also my character's pic which looked similar to me..i guessed not!) to gain some exp, then about 9pm i message my girl, just that she went breakfast with her friend Lenny, had Dim Sum, then later on she called back and told me she's going to 1 Utama for shopping spree, with her friends, and her parents.. damn, i thought she could come over and take care of me, with the advantage of saving money on travels. she promised that she'll come over in the evening. i felt tired waiting for her, spent the time till 1-2pm, fell asleep again, cuz the pain came..
again i woke up, 8pm... drag shit, i knew i wouldn't be able to see my girl.. message her and felt sorry for stooding her up. she's not disappointed though, insist to come over to my place although it was less time to spend with me.. hmmm, then she bought a movie, Herbie, wanted to watch with me. great, at least we have movie to watch, so by the end, i was discourage her to come, but then i wished she would come, then she did.
watched the movie, she went home by herself.. then what? i'm writing this blog here! hah, don't you think i've wasted my whole weekend for the fucking sickness? yeah, i did, if i never got sick, at least on saturday i could meet cy and he maybe meeting other friends..
whatever, wait till i write another blog..