What I've Chosen, It's My Belief

It's been a week i'm out from my company. I never celebrate Christmas, or New Year, all the time at home.

After new year, Tuesday, i was sick. My stomach was aching badly, something like previously i was food poisoned, but this time i never puke. It took me 2 days stranding in the room, resting, trying to heal myself up. Most of the time after i had a meal, i felt like shitting, few times i found my shit had some white stuffs around it, i can't possibly tell what exactly it was but the pain kept growling in my stomach, sounds like i'm hungry, but i'm not.

I'm running low on cash, in the meanwhile my gf helped me along the way till i found a job. I wished i could spent a little on medication and only matters i need to reserve some for my food and travels. That really explains why i don't bother to go see a doctor when i'm sick previously, wasting money but recovering process may take up a long time, and also suffering.

A few times i went to Lampe Berger's office, although i'm sick. I'm passionate on my beliefs, took every opportunity given to do something much more important than lying in bed. I know it sounds ridiculous, why i never bother find a job? I don't know what kind of job can make me available to do this Lampe Berger. In fact, whoever may be my friends reading this, i'm sure they're not comfortable to see me like this.

On Wednesday, i made an appointment with my cousin sister for lunch. I talked to her about my omen, the discovery that oblige me to believe in. Of course, she won't encourage me to do so, but she agreed that if i believe in something i want, she won't stop me. If this issue was pass on to my dad, i'm sure i'm living in hell. At first i did asked my cousin if she had any open opportunity for me, and she offered an advertising job which my cousin brother's friend was a manager, the company's dealing with Esso. I'm partly interested, until she told me i've to put up a 101% commitment at this job for 3 years to make a success results. No entertainment, no jamming, no friends going out for drinks and whatsoever, totally isolated except the job. It's a very kind offer but after i've a deep consideration of what God leads me to this Lampe Berger opportunity, it's essential for me to try it out. It's a Holy guidance, i'm sure if i do a sacrifice for this, God must have more guidance for me along my path to seek out my desperation.

She never force me to accept her offer, at first i'm in vague, if i did accept, i might not following the guidance. I had this experience before, when i took up the sales job. I should've taken the printer repairing agency job as a salesman, but i've chosen the wrong one, less salary and bogus tasks. And from that job, i got fucked up so much and hardly i could stand up again, and i'm definately devastated at that moment: my gf almost left me for good.

I'm sure everyone agreed that she should've left me cuz i'm the bad guy. Everyone deserves a second chance, even me, although i've strived and suffered a lot, some may understand, some don't. I can't eventually prove myself i'm doing it well. Look around your surroundings, do they have their own miseries? I'm sure my circle of friends never taste such desperation before. They stayed with their family, they've what they need, only on their private relationships got fucked up a little, but i'm not. I'm only going well with my girl, the rest of my cases were fucked up. Tell me, which will you choose? A fucked up life, or a fucked up relationship?


With both in positive condition, of course it's better. And i'm trying to do so. Somehow money is the thing really screwed my life entirely, i wished i could hate money, but everyone needs it. I want it so badly that i could make my family proud of me, rather my dad gossipping my shit to his friends, and even to my best friend. What my best friend said: "It's great to know your dad talks a lot with me..." That sounds very dangerous, cuz my dad is worst than a paparazzi, i heard he got private investigator, i've been followed once and he could call me up and said things i never done before. Who the fuck having problems with me? Anyway it doesn't really matters, everytime i started to think of him, when i tried to hate him, i can't. Proves that i love him so much as he's so important to me. He's hoping that i could do something to make him proud, like work as a taxi driver. He could be proud of me, what about my surroundings? I understand how he felt, and i'm the moderator of my life, i could taste every single shit i'm through. He guided me once for the retail and trading job, Meikah, and for his best friend's sake, now it turns out a total humilating condition, his friend's son played a plot to run his debts, and soon we found out the whole family were playing the plot. God damn family.

Somehow this Lampe Berger thing gave hope on me, although i knew it's just similar to Amway, but my friends were into it, not Amway, and i don't see my friends doing it, they discriminate it, including me.

My old school mate from Datok Lokman, Chris Leong, who's been working in cybercafe for 6 years and he saved RM20,000 and he borrowed another RM10,000 for the high franchising rank in this Lampe Berger. At first that's not really convinced me until he introduced me some of his childhood friends joining and paid the same amount just to make more money out of it, and in their progress, they worked full time and their income were in river flow, huge and they felt it as they're not surprised earning so much. I don't think Amway members telling all these to me, only how life goes, not how money goes... That's what i remembered, and i think the readers here maybe Amway members and i'm sure they disagreed on my opinion. This is my blog, and i'm telling out what i need to tell from the bottom of my heart. And i know Amway's a good marketing company that provides good opportunity and making lots of millionaires every year. But i'm just not interested except Lampe Berger. Just as simple as that.

And also, i don't see much Indians and Malays doing this Lampe Berger, most of them Chinese, and most of them talking in Cantonese. Unlike Amway, all the people around speaking English, and not all the people joining this marketing plan well verse in English, don't you think so. And speaking of friendly, i think Lampe Berger's members are much friendlier, in fact, they do spend their time individually telling out their stories about their progress doing it, and whatever they've told me, was the same as how i felt now...

I hate these direct selling or marketing plan or pyramid shit. And i hate to do sales door to door selling expensive products which the consumers could buy much cheaper and similar products in any convenient stores. No doubt the products were better quality, no one bother to buy a RM30 body shampoo rather than a RM10 branded body shampoo. The market now was in competition, every now and then people would've came out variant ideas to market out their products, and most of all the price, the cheaper the more people will consume, and therefore quantity is the demand on the market, just like how you shop in China, any items you picked and wanted to sell it in your country, there goes the terms: Large quantity. I watched Batman Begins, there's a scene which Bruce was browsing the materials for his helmet with his butler, and they've a conversation about the orders must be at least 10,000 pieces. And so Bruce agreed to order it as the rest will be spares for the future use. I'm sure some readers here might guess i'm talking the facts now.

My gf is an Amway member, and she felt the same way i do. Her upline causing lots of misunderstood on her life, her families and even me, and that's a disaster. Honestly i've been through that, and never again i will.

The schedules are so tight, Chinese New Year on its way, and i possibly losing my faith finding a good job. I was thinking of finding a job, any job will do, never relevant to what i'll be in the future, like a mechanic, salesman, executive, or taxi driver... Waiter or bartender, promoter in retail outlets maybe the best choice cuz i don't need to pressure myself being successful in these field, i only need to concentrate on Lampe Berger, and my old school friend who gave me this opportunity, and God, thanks for sparing me throughout the mistakes i made, i was right on confessing my sins to You and thankful for all the boundaries You've given me and turned it out a good omen as a guidance. I won't be wrong this time and i'm gonna put 101% or more on this commitment.


Amen...