Holiday is Coming

Got my paycheck this Friday, early in the morning, just i expected. Everyone's hoping to get sooner by the end of the month so on weekends they get to spend it. For me, i had to spend it on my car installment, phone bills, room rent, one big problem came up... My road tax gonna expire on 7 November. God damn, i'm purging out money like water flow... That's my urge to find a part time job to cover most of my expenses...

Lots of commitments, coming up on December, a gig. I've to part out money for jamming session. I'm again cracking up my head, again sleepless nights, again headache, again i'm into troubles... On Thursday, i went to meet clients and suppliers. So one of the suppliers is dealing hardwares, the director is kinda talkative type, regardless to anyone's status and age gap, he seems fond to everyone. His PR'S great, only matters from his words could bring some attitude and not most of the listeners accept it. I'm fine with him, cuz i know he got lots of things to say, i'm hearing it.

He told me a lot of life's facts, in family issue. From part of it, he stated money was no longer for him to be concern, only if he gets enough to cover his expenses monthly, and enough time to give to his family, he's rich. Yes, rich in the sense of giving all the options in life, not just by career and money, how much you get is how much you trade off. I used to admire those businessmen get to travel on air, business class, eat good food in hotel, stay in luxury hotel, meet corporate clients, make loads of wages. But wait, with all these earnings, does it included time, free time with family, personal and love? I don't really think so. That's what my supplier been telling me.

All the facts above very true, and true enough that i don't get much to pay that much, that's fucked up...

What is money?

When i can be settled up?

There's no end for us committing on our desires, the more we possess, the more to contribute, the more marathon we must run. Most of the people understand, one thing in life that we never get satisfied, but till it comes a realization, it's already too late. That's the time when we're old, settled down desiring something essential yet it's not.

Friday, had to go Nilai do site measurement, need to go there with my contracter, Michael, he's easily known as his skin pale off like cancer. i could hardly listen to what he's trying to say cuz he's like having much phlegm in his throat, kept spitting on tissues, piling up in a plastic bag hung on the car cigarette lighter, even use back the same tissue for another spit. I don't feel gross about it, he's aged up, worked too hard most of the time, less sleep (his eyes looked like cancer disease type symptom), and he's been too much thinking, paused a lot during the conversation. Yup, he's Kim's father, hehe, pretty girl's father. Before he made his time for me, he's out somewhere, while i'm waiting at his office for like an hour. As he promised the time, he never got a little tolerance for me, i've got something else to do man! Whatever, respect him as my contracter that in future he'll make sure my job done, so i had to put the tolerance first... Damn...

When we're on our way to Nilai, it's about lunch time and none of us ate, he brought me somewhere near Bangi ate spicy pork soup plus a dish of look alike Bah Kut Teh, cost about RM25, only 2 of us. During our conversation, he did a lot of talking, about my company's politics. Some i'm suprised to hear, but what the hell, it's not affecting me much, misunderstood will occur if one has sick of mind thinking his righteous all the way. I supposed being a person, when in terms of small matter, let it go, if it's big, make it small, it's not gonna havoc, and never think of dignity for yourself only, opposition has one too. One eye open one eye close.

The short trip took the hell 4 hours and i've been rushing back to my office get the visual done, my DTP took leave on Hari Raya season (she's Chinese, probably going for a holiday) so she won't be doing the design for me. She could let me handle it, only that office's pc's are linked and the technical part gotten me confused. I just hope my pc have more RAM to run, and the stupid keyboard kept me typing extra letters and in CAPS accidently, cy went mad by that. Haha, sorry bro.

My client came to look for Kenny, and around 6pm Kenny should be heading home, his car still around. I got something to ask him, called him and found out he's in a pub, asked me if i'm joining the booze. Oh hell i'll be there, it's been a while to swing my mood out for a chill booze.

Heard the same lecture again, life... The most you need to cherish is your family, despite the money. Fuck money, it's been twisting my mind every night, like HOW, HOW, HOW? on going shit. I've problems with my family, i left home since 15, now i'm totally alone, and somehow i'm enjoying it... Freedom it's all i got. Yes, family is what we need. All i need in my life, the most important... PEACE IN MIND. No debts, no pressures, no twisted relationships, no desires on luxuries... I want happy. I mean i'm happy now, not as happy than i was a kid. The booze were so fine, i got high, everyone's happy, my boss started talking like a friend to me, also in humble... I'm not afraid of him being like that anymore, i want to learn from him, it's so useful tool to market my PR to market my products. As the day he interviewed me, i told him i really wished that i'm working for him. Yes, he had proven something i really wished for... A good superior.

Let's hope this goes on and never got me telling off the opposite way.