Undecided Opportunity

When i always think of something, which is in desperate measures, partly uncertain. Since after the day me and cy went to watch Star Wars, he did mentioned about ego and inner voice. I had most of the ego voice instead of inner voice, i became undecided on issues that is vital, will effect my further destiny in life.

I'm currently working in a company selling clothes, supposed to be in a wholesale department, just arrange stocks, QS, sort of other relevant tasks, a year later i was promoted and dealing in retail outlets all over Peninsula Malaysia. My task was simple actually, just go to a designated branch and help out operating the business, as replacement, the supervisors could take their leaves and once they get back, i'm outta somewhere if designated again. So its been three years i'm in, i felt left out of entertainment, fashion and food. I know i'm working in a clothes company, but it doesn't mean it's fashion, all these clothes i'm selling is almost seasonal, depends on the religious seasons. Soon as i bought my ride, my salary was deducted 30%, and kinda striving, thrifting.. Damn suffocated, i tell you. I was advised not to compare with others which leads to greed on things that desire my lust of luxuries. Hey, come on, who doesn't think that way? All i know that i need to upgrade myself to adapt this society, before things getting expensive and soon enough i'm incapable to pay my dues. Living in a normal and peaceful life is all we need, how about you're living a place, paying rm200 rent of room per month, near dirty kitchen and toilets, cockroaches and rats everywhere, always in freaking warm temperature, 2 floors up and i've to que most of the time using the toilets. I've a friend offers me rm200 rent of room per month, floor with tiles, cabinet, clean kitchen and toilets, sofa, astro, washing machines, fridge, car porch and 6 little cute pussies. How about that? But something still holds me back from that, why? My ego voice. I'm frustrated, thought it was going to be easy, but the fact is, deep thoughts are necessity, can't bared myself taking such risks, i can be harmful to myself of my financial crisis. I'm doomed, i guess, and i've been day dreaming, sleepless nights, just thinking of the risks. Sounds like getting married to me, yall people agreed? Hehe..

I took an opportunity asking a friend Jeff who's currently working for his father, the sleeping director. His uncle was the assistant director, doing fine, and some other friends joined the venture. I've told Jeff about my criteria, hope he's willing to lend a hand. He agreed, only if i'm determined for the job, but i'm not that ready enough, too much responsibles left behind my current job. I'm not sure how do i gonna tell my boss about my resignation. Once my boss told me before, i can join any other companies to continue striving, and for now, i think it's not what it's seems. My company has outnumbered staffs, lotsa havocs happened, and i'm designated to take up the shits, how pathetic. When i think back 3 years ago, i wish i wasn't here, it's all about the promises from my dad, and it became none, got worsen each year. I'm proud to own my ride, not my salary anymore, used to.

Jeff offers me the job, which i'm gonna stationed in Ipoh, permanent. Gosh, if i'm moving there, consider i'm no longer a KL resident. Where am i gonna stay if i'm back to KL? Cy's place? Nah, not even my girl's house. I was thinking of keeping the room in KL, still pay for it although i'm not staying there, somehow it's stupid. What can i do then? I love my hometown, Ipoh has the same entertainment, chicks, not the environment, roads and culture. I'm sure i'm going to do this, cuz i trust Jeff, and by all means, i can feel my proper life in future if i work for him. I'm sure i wanna do this, please God give me a good sign, so i can make sure my decisions won't destroy me.