Lost My Skills

It's sunday, didn't slept well last night. Last night was a screw up night, plans made somehow postponed and after all the other plan was called off. It spoiled my mood, but i found my way going for the 1st plan. Fetched my girl and went over friend's house have a smoke up and some drinks. Damn i was dizzy enough to handle things on my own. My girl drove me back and slept over my place.

On the next day, i woke up quite late, felt uneasy, tired and lazy. Fetched my girl back her home, head to work. Few hours later, cy called if i could go to his house and jam. I was working, thinking about my responsible.. Ah, fuck it, lied to my workers said that i had some issues to deal in Sg Buloh, went to cy's house.

We can't really jam, it's almost a year we never really touch the instruments. I'm depressed at the moment, of my job and my future, starts tingling in my mind. I'm tired too, drank cappucino earlier before the shop was opened, at least i'm in focus, but my drum skills out of timing. I could drum well if i had much time, since this fucking job kept me out of my private time, work work work.. Ma hai, it's killing me. Cy can't remember how to play some tunes of our songs, just lying on the bed thinking something else. An hour later, he went outside the room, checked mails and others. Asked him join me to have lunch together, talked some issues about our ambitions and dreams, even future jobs. Still, cy encouraged me try out new job, rather suffer in unstable company. I did made plans with Jeff that night so we can talk about getting work at his company and designated in ipoh. i don't mind going outstations but just let me have faith in a job which brings me bright future..

My boss called, asked me go Sg. Buloh collect sales money and deliver to his house later at night. After work, i went to look for Jeff, put him as priority cuz i've lose an opportunity based in KL, now i'm not gonna waste away another one, postponed my delivery.

It was drizzling, my car's wiper was like wearing out, can't properly see a damn thing on the road. I wish i could wash my car in puchong, in the parking lot.. No extra water tabs, and its been 2 weeks that i never wash it. Yall may think i can send to car wash. I've experienced before, the car wash staffs never clean my car nicely and shine. In fact, i'm practising myself D.I.Y, maintain my passions for my car, just like treating your wife and kids, tender with care. I never really buy those car care liquids, i'm staying in shop lots, the car was parked opposite the road side, and it's even inconvenient to do some treatments on my car during my work time. Never vacuum, clean dashboard, brush the seats.. Somehow it's not the place that matters, it was the spare time i need, which i don't owned any.

Jeff drove out and i followed him to a Mamak stall. We sat down, ordered drinks and he asked me about my comments of my company. I spreaded it all, and i found him trying to advice me of not leaving my company. I've doubts of my dad's legacy, i don't know if he's part of the company's share holder, as what Jeff asked me. He insisted that i should talk to my boss of all the critical i've been through. I had deep thoughts of the new job, and i'm not interested telling my boss of getting a raise, better working environment, off days on weekends, don't have to go outstations.. That's outrageous, what i can offer if i asked for so many privileges? I believe in myself, and i know my limits, and i'm sure the next thing my boss would tell me.. Find other jobs.. He's in critical condition too, lack of staffs, cut cost here and there, but the family are using money like open  water tabs. Because of the cut cost, i can't afford to pay my phone bills, rent and car installment, i put food as priority, i know how it feels when i'm starved without any money left with me, it's devastating..

At the conclusion, Jeff still not confirmed if i had this job, insisted me talking to my boss. Soon i left, called my boss, and he never picked up. My boss wants me to go to his house and deliver the sales money.. Oh well, fuck it, left all the sales money to Sg Buloh's supervisor and he'll help me bank in the money first thing in the morning, then straight away headed home, smoked up and had a peaceful sleep, without difficulties and depressions.

ZzZzZzZzZz..