I'm Paranoid... My Girl... (Wednesday 9/8/06)

Yesterday considered a tiring day, one of my colleague's off day and it's quite hard for me to catch up things like getting to know more about the titles' location. My senior colleague said to me, "Hmm, you're such a forgetful person... It's been a week you've joined and still you can't remember which is where...?" "Of course, your place is such a mess and all was literally swapped from the codes... When a place's a mess, it messes the person too..." I replied. He sighed, "How come i don't get myself messed up?" I laughed and replied, "You're the MESS!"

He's not always around the counter because he had to get the software for the customer from other counter. Whenever a customer asked me about one particular software which it's an odd name to be called, and without hesitation, i'll say "Sorry, we don't have those." or "I'm sorry, those were out of stocks..." It's bad to say "Don't know" or "Not sure", i'll try make the best not to waste people's time and mine too. There're more demand on common softwares like Windows XP or Microsoft Office, Adobe or Macromedia, Autocad or Chinese programs. Mostly i sell DVDs because it's compiled and more additional softwares and games compared with CDs, worth the price.

Ok, that's not really my topic, i'm just trying to implement my feel of the day's work, which makes me tired everyday after...

I was on my way back home, and i thought of posting my One Night Stand post. My girl called, and she was in sort of critical condition. I was calmed at first, cuz i needed to know what's going on. She said her old sickness came back...

She had astma before, and recovered since her school days. She got nose block too, sometimes she gets very hard to breathe until few times ended up in hospital. She told me she fainted and felt some sort of spirits alive in the hospital, could be a deja vu, or... 3 years ago, when i met her, she never gave me the impression that she's a sick girl. She seemed very happy all the time, even when she told me she got scolded by her parents, she told me with grins and laughs, like she didn't mind at all. Oh yes, it's always common for the old folks babbling at young ones. Not for my old folks...

She's very sad and was talking nonsense to me, like she only can live a short life, die in sickness. Just recent, she was in low blood pressure condition during her period and most of that happened, she couldn't work, always have to see a doctor. Now, she said the nose block came back and she had already finished up the medicines, when she paid a visit to a doctor few days ago.

She was afraid to tell her parents, and me. On second thought, she preferred to tell me first cuz most of the time she only tells me when the condition has already happened few days ago. I was kind of angry, advised her to inform her parents about her condition. She said she doesn't wanna make her parents worried, to me it's alright. Heh, it's silly to keep the most important secret away from your love ones, because when it becomes too late, not only the person who kept the secret sacrificed, the love ones will suffer for the rest of their lives, especially me.

"Darling, i don't care if you're sick, paralyse, lost memory or went crazy, i've decided to love you as you're the only one left in this planet. When the time we started to agree to be together, as a trial, i already expected to let us be permanent companions and lovers. I've tried hard to make myself man enough to give a lady like you, the best love, happiness and loyalty. I've stopped listening Chinese songs few years back and you're the one who made me listen back, and i'm grateful to know that we shared the commons most in our life.

We both are gourmets.
We travel and eat as we like most.
We watched movies together.
You came to my gig and watched me perform.
You like to dress as pretty as you want me to love you more.
We listen to songs with same flavor.
You've the little stinky smell i always love to smell.
We always talk about funny things happened in our life.
You always hug my hands whenever i'm around with you, wherever i go.
You always like to kiss my lips and tell me those are your candies.
We always look at pretty girls and shared thoughts of their ratings.
You always bring nice tasty snacks and fruits for me.
You always tell me about your work life, and sometimes asked me for advises.
You got all the attractions for the guys around, when we are together ever since. (you know what i mean.)

So much more to say, and those you've know, i've told you lots why i love you so much, darling.

We have good memories, and it became invulnerable in my heart. My loyalty to you stays strong, and you don't have to worry about me. You're mine, and i'm yours, truly.

Remember that i've said to you, "Truthful and Faithful"? Our own punchline.

The love we have, has created a life target for me.

To be the man of yours forever, and you'll be my lady eternally."

She even asked of to promise her that i should go on if something happened to her. I never promise that, i could only promise her that we'll be together until the end of our time. Thus, she got nothing much to say and with full of gratitude, she's at ease of her sickness. Then, after we end our conversation, i went to cybercafe and post blogs.

You know what, fucking blogger server down... And i've wasted 3 hours trying to upload the gig's pics. I'm sorry that i said it offensively but it pissed me off, i've tried many times uploading it but always failed, and it's silly of me yelling "ma chao hai ah!" whenever it failed to upload. It's not cheap paying by hours and i always tried my best to do it quickly before time lapsed more and more. The uploading picture function got bugs, i think maybe another time i should report it to them.

Then, later i'm home around 2am, i watched a movie halfway and blackout... Was it a bad day for me?

Ah well, i can't have a peaceful moment after work time for today... Fuck it.